39 weeks down…
99 days left…
R&R on the horizon…
As an Army wife you take on so much. Every marriage, every life has its own unique challenges within the organization. No two experiences are alike. There are a few things I think we can all agree on. No matter how long our soldiers are gone, it’s always too long. Even though we are grateful for our free medical, it might be nice to get an appointment sooner than a week or two, have the same doctor at least once, or have a doctor that isn’t well into retirement… Although we’re grateful for all of the “extras” we get in addition to our base pay, it’s still nice to be paid.
Apart from what I, as an Army Wife have already taken on, the above mentioned have recently expedited my transition from pepper to salt (and while I am thankful for the coupons, I’ve heard “Nice n’ Easy” doesn’t cover white!!)
Had a doctor not said, “He’ll grow into them,” I may not have had many sleepless nights coaxing my terrified sleep walker back to bed. I may not have had to lay in my bed wondering if I needed to wake my daughter up in the middle of the night to take her brother to the ER because he had just stopped breathing in his sleep. I may have had way fewer sheets to wash. I may have had a much happier, better rested little boy. Had that silver haired Dr. not said that, I wouldn’t have had to go through a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy recovery without daddy’s help! But, I digress. I did. As thankful as I am that we got to have this procedure done with skilled surgeon and staff and the Children’s Hospital, it wasn’t fun. Poor Gwynn just had to say good-bye to her best friend. She had to say good-bye to Grandpa and Grandma. Now she has to put up with her brother at home for another week, messing up HER routine! Connor was miserable and constantly needed something. You can imagine the power struggle that ensued. We survived! By the grace of God I SURVIVED!
Just in time to be hit by another major blow…the national BUDGET! I have never in my life been the political type. Sure I have my ideals. I have just never felt the passion or need to get involved in politics. I tend to take a back seat. I observe. I research. I speak to those I feel it is pertinent. I guess the gloves come off when I feel that people that I dearly love are in unnecessary danger. Let me go on the record here. I am a Conservative. I am about as Conservative as they come. HOWEVER, what happened last week made me sick to my stomach. What a mess!! Here we are fighting over the budget like immature teenagers playing Chicken. Who will cave first? Who is going to turn first? Not me! I don’t care who gets hurt, I will win!! One might wonder, what on earth can keep the Congress from agreeing on a budget that will pay the people of their country? Apparently all it takes is Planned Parenthood.
I watched the debate for a majority of the day. How disgusting that something like cutting the funding to Planned Parenthood was what threatened 800K+ people being paid! I understand. This is a very important debate. However, there is a time and a place!! I don’t believe that God would have been proud about a “win” that occurred in such a low, sneaky, and underhanded way. If you ask me, if you REALLY cared about your people, you would pay them and take up this “fight” at a more appropriate time.
I recognize the Conservatives felt like they had the upper hand!! What a great time to strike! No one wants to shut down the government, so let’s add these few “riders” to the budget and cut funding to Planned Parenthood…it’s the only way to Get ‘Er Done! Come on. We’re better than that. To claim that Planned Parenthood is, to sum it all up, immoral, yet behave so immorally to get its funding cut doesn’t make sense to me. I understand that intentions were good but can’t you see the hypocrisy? I’m not saying I’m right and I wouldn’t dream of saying I know what God is thinking or how he sees this mess, but I just refuse to believe that he would condone such behavior. If your will is GOD’s will…he will make sure you are victorious! Look at battles in the Bible. Did God say, “Okay, you’ve got them by the balls…let’s go!” No…he took the most unlikely Heroes in the worst of circumstances and made them victorious!! I guess what I am saying is, there is a time and a place for everything and I felt like what happened wasn’t a win for anyone, but Satan. With all ears on them, people said some pretty ridiculous and unfounded things that only made them sound foolish. With all eyes on them, they fought dirty and looked weak. The sides were pushed even further apart. Nothing was accomplished and we get to go through this whole mess again tomorrow. Satan won.
My husband, Dustin is gone. We haven’t seen each other in 39 weeks. We will have surpassed the 9 month mark by the time he gets to come home for R&R. This is getting long. I am tired. I am greatly anticipating our time together. God could not have picked a better man to be my husband. I know that as soon as we’re in each other’s arms, our graying cord of 3 will overcome all the painful, stressful messes each double strand has been through. Two strands, even with God as the other, simply aren’t as strong as three. I can’t even begin to imagine going through all of this as a single strand!!
Matthew 6:10 "THY will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven."
Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Days 186-248
We’ve had a really busy 2 months…but what else is new?? With quite a few big black ! on my calendar (marking big things I had to get done) in the first half of Feburary, I told Dustin after the last one, I was DONE! I wasn’t taking on any more big projects. I was going to just sit back and enjoy spending time with the kids and doing small stuff at home that I had wanted to get done this year.
My big !s in February (writing and giving a devo, cupcakes for school, plan, set up and put on a Romantic dinner for 70 ladies (which was canceled the night after we spent 3 hours setting it up due to bad weather), plan a program for my ladies group at church, bake Valentine goodies for said program, dr. apt for Connor’s tonsils, and the last one our all day Bell Festival) were starting to come off my calendar one by one…the end was in sight! I was starting to breathe a sigh of relief. THEN…Dustin emailed me 2 days before my last ! to let me know that he had just been told we had pending orders to PCS to Hawaii. At first I was excited! Hawaii!! Then I started to think about it and the reality set in, I got really stressed and actually cried about it. I know most people don’t get that at all, so let me explain.
This Blog Six in the Hoodsays it best but I’ll sum it up for you. The blog opens with this line, “A Chaplain once told me that Military families are in a constant state of grief.” This is the best way to explain my life. While we are really happy, after reading this article, I realized that this statement is so true.
Everyone sees a move to Hawaii as so exciting; a great adventure!!! Here is what I see. How on earth can we be moving already? We were told we were going to be here as long as we wanted. We haven’t even been here 2 years yet!! The second I tell people here that I am moving to Hawaii, even though it is 9 months away, they start to pull away. I stop being as involved or caring as much because I know I won’t be here that much longer. (stage 1: denial and isolation) I get really mad because everyone is so excited about this…but I don’t really want to go. I know it’s going to be a lot of work. Dustin will get home, we’ll have to sell the house and Dustin won’t get to enjoy all the hard work we’ve done on the house. Then a few months after we get there, Dustin will be going to Ft Sill for 2 months. My life just got crazy again and I was just getting to take down that last ! and now I have to do all of this by myself...Dustin is gone!! Connor is in school here, has friends, Gwynn is about ready to start school, I have a great church here, I’m involved in PWOC…this just ruins MY plans!!! Plus everything we have to do, we’ll have to get done in 90 days. That means getting our stuff packed up, getting on a waiting list for housing…so much to do in the last few months when we should be getting to enjoy our reunion. Other people were giving me a hard time about it as if I had anything to do with this choice which made me really mad. I don’t want this!! (stage 2: anger) Then I start thinking, well maybe we could just stay here in the house until Dustin is done with training. Maybe we could just try to stay here. (stage 3: bargaining) Then it hits…I am losing so much. I have to say goodbye to all of my friends, my beautiful mountains, my home that I love, living in the same town as my sister and not having an ocean between our families and us again. My kiddos have to say goodbye to their friends, first schools. I have to let go of all the dreams I had for this house and just living here in general. (stage 4: depression) Finally I realize there is nothing I can do about it. I get hooked up with some ladies already living there to ask questions. I make a “to do” list months long. I start to organize the things we are going to sell, store, and take with us. My trash can starts to fill up with everything I am just getting rid of. I look into what we need to do to sell our house, praying we won’t have to pay back the 8K we got when we bought it. (stage 5: acceptance)
So while everyone else sees an exciting adventure and can’t possibly understand why I am upset or stressed about it…this is what I am going through. I am finally excited about it. I know that God put us in this situation, and he will bring us through it to the other side. I just have to keep my eyes up and focused on him. His plans are not my plans and I know his are better.
Other than that chaotic mess, Gwynn has been taking ballet classes once a week for the last 2 months and Connor took 8 gymnastics lessons. 
We are preparing to put on a Bell concert for our church. Connor, Gwynn, Elizabeth and I will be playing “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” I’m pretty excited about that, but the rest of it, I could care less honestly. I wanted to be done after the festival, but I guess I have to hang in there a few more months. My kitchen faucet stopped working, but I could still use my sprayer which made for a watery mess. My elliptical broke beyond the scope of my or cheap repair. I tried waxing my legs, which I think I will never do again. We had to say good bye to our first pets…both of Connor’s Birthday fish died on the same day. He took it better than I expected. I baked a few pies and a cake for different functions. I went to a baby shower and an FRG meeting and remembered why I don’t hang out with Army people very often :0) We found out that the military might not be getting paid until Congress can get the budget passed…talk about stress!! Then I had a crazy busy day where I left my house at 7:30 and didn’t get home until 6 that night. It involved putting on another program on post, getting Connor from school, driving to Denver for a dr. apt and coming back just in time to make gymnastics and finally home. This has all been in 1 month too and I haven’t even shared the family and friend issues I’ve been helping with!! You add to all of this the regular house work I should be keeping up with, lack of sleep and the lack of “sharing a bed” with Dustin…for EIGHT months…and you can see a recipe for a tired, stressed out lady! I am trying to take it all in stride, but this is getting long. Next month we are getting together with all the other wives (FRG) to make Welcome Home banners and it just feels strange since we haven’t even had R&R yet.
However, we’ve had some excitement the past week!! We finally made it to the end of 3rd quarter and Spring Break! I got to take the kiddos to Disney Princess on Ice. 
It was so much fun. I loved watching their faces light up. Then Grandpa and Grandma (the crazy ones) came for a few days! They entertained the kiddos, fixed my sink, did lots of yard work and watched Gwynn while we were in Denver for Connor’s surgery!
That has been quite the experience too! We left the house at 10 because we had to be there 2 hours early, checked in and waited. We were told the dr. was running an hour ahead of schedule, but then they had a trauma, so we ended up getting into surgery late. I got to hold Connor’s hand while he went to sleep. When I went to let go, his hand was holding mine so tightly I had to pry my hand loose. I almost started crying as I walked away. I’d had enough time to look at two pages of a magazine when they came to get me. They sat me in a private room. At first I was thinking that went quickly, then I started to wonder if something had gone wrong because it happened so fast. Turns out, it was just fast! Connor did great, no bleeding and he was being woken up. When they came to get me, they said he was very calm and did really great. I sat next to him and his eyes were teary. I felt so bad that I didn’t get to be there when he woke up. We moved to recovery and he passed out.
As soon as he woke up he asked, “When do I get to go home?” He was ready!! He slept all the way home and had so much energy when we got home. He was talking and he even ate some ice-cream and rice! The next day was a different story!! Yesterday he was so sick. He was in noticeable pain, sick to his stomach and had a fever. We spent the afternoon cleaning up after him throwing up and he refused to drink anything. I called the dr and he told me it was all within the normal range. It could either be part of the coming out of anesthesia or the medication he is on…but to keep giving it to him and go to the ER if he got worse. Thankfully he woke up better this morning!! He is drinking and even eating very small chunks of grapes. He hasn’t thrown up all day and is actually sitting up for a few hours at a time. He does however, refuse to talk…so he is getting practice at writing me little notes to let me know what he wants :0)
Our lives are crazy busy. I never expected them to be THIS busy. I am happy though that we are 2/3 of the way to taking down that yellow ribbon! In 5-6 weeks we should get R&R for 2 weeks and then about 2 months after that Dustin will be coming home…and then the next chapter of our life will begin :0)
Verse of the Month (maybe even life): "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
My big !s in February (writing and giving a devo, cupcakes for school, plan, set up and put on a Romantic dinner for 70 ladies (which was canceled the night after we spent 3 hours setting it up due to bad weather), plan a program for my ladies group at church, bake Valentine goodies for said program, dr. apt for Connor’s tonsils, and the last one our all day Bell Festival) were starting to come off my calendar one by one…the end was in sight! I was starting to breathe a sigh of relief. THEN…Dustin emailed me 2 days before my last ! to let me know that he had just been told we had pending orders to PCS to Hawaii. At first I was excited! Hawaii!! Then I started to think about it and the reality set in, I got really stressed and actually cried about it. I know most people don’t get that at all, so let me explain.
This Blog Six in the Hoodsays it best but I’ll sum it up for you. The blog opens with this line, “A Chaplain once told me that Military families are in a constant state of grief.” This is the best way to explain my life. While we are really happy, after reading this article, I realized that this statement is so true.
Everyone sees a move to Hawaii as so exciting; a great adventure!!! Here is what I see. How on earth can we be moving already? We were told we were going to be here as long as we wanted. We haven’t even been here 2 years yet!! The second I tell people here that I am moving to Hawaii, even though it is 9 months away, they start to pull away. I stop being as involved or caring as much because I know I won’t be here that much longer. (stage 1: denial and isolation) I get really mad because everyone is so excited about this…but I don’t really want to go. I know it’s going to be a lot of work. Dustin will get home, we’ll have to sell the house and Dustin won’t get to enjoy all the hard work we’ve done on the house. Then a few months after we get there, Dustin will be going to Ft Sill for 2 months. My life just got crazy again and I was just getting to take down that last ! and now I have to do all of this by myself...Dustin is gone!! Connor is in school here, has friends, Gwynn is about ready to start school, I have a great church here, I’m involved in PWOC…this just ruins MY plans!!! Plus everything we have to do, we’ll have to get done in 90 days. That means getting our stuff packed up, getting on a waiting list for housing…so much to do in the last few months when we should be getting to enjoy our reunion. Other people were giving me a hard time about it as if I had anything to do with this choice which made me really mad. I don’t want this!! (stage 2: anger) Then I start thinking, well maybe we could just stay here in the house until Dustin is done with training. Maybe we could just try to stay here. (stage 3: bargaining) Then it hits…I am losing so much. I have to say goodbye to all of my friends, my beautiful mountains, my home that I love, living in the same town as my sister and not having an ocean between our families and us again. My kiddos have to say goodbye to their friends, first schools. I have to let go of all the dreams I had for this house and just living here in general. (stage 4: depression) Finally I realize there is nothing I can do about it. I get hooked up with some ladies already living there to ask questions. I make a “to do” list months long. I start to organize the things we are going to sell, store, and take with us. My trash can starts to fill up with everything I am just getting rid of. I look into what we need to do to sell our house, praying we won’t have to pay back the 8K we got when we bought it. (stage 5: acceptance)
So while everyone else sees an exciting adventure and can’t possibly understand why I am upset or stressed about it…this is what I am going through. I am finally excited about it. I know that God put us in this situation, and he will bring us through it to the other side. I just have to keep my eyes up and focused on him. His plans are not my plans and I know his are better.
Other than that chaotic mess, Gwynn has been taking ballet classes once a week for the last 2 months and Connor took 8 gymnastics lessons. 
We are preparing to put on a Bell concert for our church. Connor, Gwynn, Elizabeth and I will be playing “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” I’m pretty excited about that, but the rest of it, I could care less honestly. I wanted to be done after the festival, but I guess I have to hang in there a few more months. My kitchen faucet stopped working, but I could still use my sprayer which made for a watery mess. My elliptical broke beyond the scope of my or cheap repair. I tried waxing my legs, which I think I will never do again. We had to say good bye to our first pets…both of Connor’s Birthday fish died on the same day. He took it better than I expected. I baked a few pies and a cake for different functions. I went to a baby shower and an FRG meeting and remembered why I don’t hang out with Army people very often :0) We found out that the military might not be getting paid until Congress can get the budget passed…talk about stress!! Then I had a crazy busy day where I left my house at 7:30 and didn’t get home until 6 that night. It involved putting on another program on post, getting Connor from school, driving to Denver for a dr. apt and coming back just in time to make gymnastics and finally home. This has all been in 1 month too and I haven’t even shared the family and friend issues I’ve been helping with!! You add to all of this the regular house work I should be keeping up with, lack of sleep and the lack of “sharing a bed” with Dustin…for EIGHT months…and you can see a recipe for a tired, stressed out lady! I am trying to take it all in stride, but this is getting long. Next month we are getting together with all the other wives (FRG) to make Welcome Home banners and it just feels strange since we haven’t even had R&R yet.
However, we’ve had some excitement the past week!! We finally made it to the end of 3rd quarter and Spring Break! I got to take the kiddos to Disney Princess on Ice. 
It was so much fun. I loved watching their faces light up. Then Grandpa and Grandma (the crazy ones) came for a few days! They entertained the kiddos, fixed my sink, did lots of yard work and watched Gwynn while we were in Denver for Connor’s surgery! That has been quite the experience too! We left the house at 10 because we had to be there 2 hours early, checked in and waited. We were told the dr. was running an hour ahead of schedule, but then they had a trauma, so we ended up getting into surgery late. I got to hold Connor’s hand while he went to sleep. When I went to let go, his hand was holding mine so tightly I had to pry my hand loose. I almost started crying as I walked away. I’d had enough time to look at two pages of a magazine when they came to get me. They sat me in a private room. At first I was thinking that went quickly, then I started to wonder if something had gone wrong because it happened so fast. Turns out, it was just fast! Connor did great, no bleeding and he was being woken up. When they came to get me, they said he was very calm and did really great. I sat next to him and his eyes were teary. I felt so bad that I didn’t get to be there when he woke up. We moved to recovery and he passed out.
As soon as he woke up he asked, “When do I get to go home?” He was ready!! He slept all the way home and had so much energy when we got home. He was talking and he even ate some ice-cream and rice! The next day was a different story!! Yesterday he was so sick. He was in noticeable pain, sick to his stomach and had a fever. We spent the afternoon cleaning up after him throwing up and he refused to drink anything. I called the dr and he told me it was all within the normal range. It could either be part of the coming out of anesthesia or the medication he is on…but to keep giving it to him and go to the ER if he got worse. Thankfully he woke up better this morning!! He is drinking and even eating very small chunks of grapes. He hasn’t thrown up all day and is actually sitting up for a few hours at a time. He does however, refuse to talk…so he is getting practice at writing me little notes to let me know what he wants :0)Our lives are crazy busy. I never expected them to be THIS busy. I am happy though that we are 2/3 of the way to taking down that yellow ribbon! In 5-6 weeks we should get R&R for 2 weeks and then about 2 months after that Dustin will be coming home…and then the next chapter of our life will begin :0)
Verse of the Month (maybe even life): "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Friday, January 21, 2011
Days 171-185
Well, we’re here…1/2 way!! In some ways, I can’t believe we are already here!! This has been taking forever, but we have been keeping SO busy, that it has also flown by. Wednesday was ½ way for weeks and days (I literally watched the clock turn to noon as it marked 182 1/2 days...the official 1/2 way mark!!!), but today, is the 6 month mark…so however you look at it, we’re on the downhill slide!
I’ve had a lot of really big “light bulb” moments (as Gru would say) lately. There have been a lot of things frustrating me. People being ugly. Now, when I say people, I don’t mean anyone that I know, just in general. It really frustrates me when partial stories are told and everyone jumps all over it and makes mountains out of mole hills. It bothers me when people say that soldiers should die and that they are mindless and cannot think for themselves. It frustrates me when people have nothing good to say about Christians…and why should they? Many people I see that call themselves Christians act very little like Christ. These things have really been weighing on me. However, God has allowed me to see that instead of frustration, I need to feel sorry for them and pray for them. They don’t know the peace that I do. They don’t have a fabulous relationship with Christ. In itself, coming to this realization has really brought peace to my heart.
Also, I realized that while my life is a love song to my husband, is it a love song to God? I really realized that everything I do needs to be for him and his glory, not for me. I also realized that while we are sitting here asking God where he was during our bad times, that he is asking us where we were during the good times.
I have a busy February in front of me. I am not going to lie, I am freaking out a little bit about how I am going to get it all done. The biggest concern for me is that I have an all day (8am-10pm) Bell Festival coming up and no one to watch my kiddos. I know God will take care of that, but it’s stressing me out. I know I need to trust him like I did with my ring…oh yes, I have yet to tell that story! For Christmas, my wonderful husband got me Swiss Blue Topaz earings, necklace and ring! Beautiful!! However, the ring was too small. I sent it back to get a bigger size and two weeks later, the package was nowhere to be found! I was devastated!! However, after I turned it over to God and told him I knew it was silly to be this upset over a material object, but I really wanted it back…it was in the mail box the next day :0) God is good, huh?? Anyway, I know he has my back…but sometimes it’s hard to let those worries go.
Tonight the kiddos and I had a celebration, as Connor called it. We pulled party poppers, had pizza, watched a movie and had cake of course because every party needs cake! What a great feeling to be sliding down now instead of climbing up!
Verses of the day:
Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.
I’ve had a lot of really big “light bulb” moments (as Gru would say) lately. There have been a lot of things frustrating me. People being ugly. Now, when I say people, I don’t mean anyone that I know, just in general. It really frustrates me when partial stories are told and everyone jumps all over it and makes mountains out of mole hills. It bothers me when people say that soldiers should die and that they are mindless and cannot think for themselves. It frustrates me when people have nothing good to say about Christians…and why should they? Many people I see that call themselves Christians act very little like Christ. These things have really been weighing on me. However, God has allowed me to see that instead of frustration, I need to feel sorry for them and pray for them. They don’t know the peace that I do. They don’t have a fabulous relationship with Christ. In itself, coming to this realization has really brought peace to my heart.
Also, I realized that while my life is a love song to my husband, is it a love song to God? I really realized that everything I do needs to be for him and his glory, not for me. I also realized that while we are sitting here asking God where he was during our bad times, that he is asking us where we were during the good times.
I have a busy February in front of me. I am not going to lie, I am freaking out a little bit about how I am going to get it all done. The biggest concern for me is that I have an all day (8am-10pm) Bell Festival coming up and no one to watch my kiddos. I know God will take care of that, but it’s stressing me out. I know I need to trust him like I did with my ring…oh yes, I have yet to tell that story! For Christmas, my wonderful husband got me Swiss Blue Topaz earings, necklace and ring! Beautiful!! However, the ring was too small. I sent it back to get a bigger size and two weeks later, the package was nowhere to be found! I was devastated!! However, after I turned it over to God and told him I knew it was silly to be this upset over a material object, but I really wanted it back…it was in the mail box the next day :0) God is good, huh?? Anyway, I know he has my back…but sometimes it’s hard to let those worries go.
Tonight the kiddos and I had a celebration, as Connor called it. We pulled party poppers, had pizza, watched a movie and had cake of course because every party needs cake! What a great feeling to be sliding down now instead of climbing up!
Verses of the day:
Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Days 105-170
I noticed a while back that I hadn’t blogged in a REALLY long time…pathetically long time! I looked back over my calendar to see what happened and realized the answer was “The Season.” The season of sick and Holidaze!!!
On the night of day 105 (beginning of Nov), Connor came into my room SICK! He could barely breathe and was coughing, or should I say barking! Thankfully this had happened once before and so I knew to take him in the steamed up bathroom. That did get his cough under control. I envisioned taking him to the doctor the next day, however he woke up much better!! Sadly, that night he got much worse. Saying I got no sleep isn’t quite right, because my body did shut down a few times. I was afraid to fall asleep because Connor would stop breathing, and then gasp for air. It was the scariest thing in the world. Now, being a “single” mom you have to weigh your options. Do I, get the kids up, dressed and go to the ER or do I lay here trying to stay awake and keep an eye on my child so that they at least get sleep? Well, I am sure you can figure out what I did. After a trip to the doc the next day, Croup and he suggested that I have a sleep study done on him to see why he stopped breathing. However, since neither the doc or I could see in Connor’s throat because he tonsils were so enlarged, the reason was pretty clear.
That was just the beginning of a very hectic few months! Gwynn also contracted Croup. However, I couldn’t get her breathing under control with the steamed up room or anything else. Because she laid there crying, her chest sinking with every breath and her cough getting worse, I ended up taking her to the ER. In addition to her Croup, she had strep! YAY :0)
We had play practice, bell practice, this party, that party, this performance, that performance, school work, home work, sewing projects, dentist with 3 perfect checkups…we even got our family picture done!
Connor got an entire week off for Thanksgiving! It was great because Aunt Suzie, Tyler, Grandpa and Grandma Elser (the crazy ones :0)and even a surprise guest, one of Suzie’s high school friends, came and spent Turkey Day with us! Gwynn got a play house as an early Christmas gift. That was fun to put together and watch her “open” even though there were “No mommies allowed!” Grandpa helped me hang the Christmas lights on the outside of my house and we put up our Christmas trees. This year, because I knew I wasn’t going to really enjoy the holidays, I decided to do something just for myself. I got a white tree and decorated it with PINK and silver balls :0) We even got to celebrate Dustin’s 30th birthday with cake!
The day they left, I went to start my car and NOTHING! I put the trickle charger on and let it run all night. When I went to check on it in the morning, of course it wasn’t fully charged yet. It wasn’t a big deal, I would just take Dustin’s truck to church and then figure it out after that! There was one flaw in that play, a parking break that wouldn’t release!! Thankfully, Dustin got on and told me how to manually release the parking break on his truck. I even took him down there on the laptop and had him walk me through it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work! I did get the car to start so I threw the cables in my car and decided if anything, someone at church could jump me so I could get home :0) I went down one more time to try the parking break, this time bringing gloves with me, and I GOT IT! I had a little victory dance, pulled it around front and then proceeded to take the battery out of my car so I could get it tested after church (and of course, it was FINE!) Anyway, so in a day, I learned to change my own battery and manually release a parking break! Big day for me :0)
Then of course, the one day I am 45 minutes away from him, Connor decides to get sick at school and start throwing up! Thankfully Uncle Sean had the day off and he and Aunt Elizabeth could go pick him up for me. Of course, 2 days later, the kiddos had a bell performance and Connor had a birthday party to go to and the next day was the Christmas play at church. He was feeling better, but Gwynn just had no energy. As I was picking Connor up from the party, she threw up in the car! Both of them kind of got a cold right away and it got worse and worse, and I got it and we are all now just really getting over it.
The Crazy Grandparents and Great-Grandma came for a few days before Christmas. We had a lot of fun with them again, tried some new recipes, opened a few gifts, saw the Lunar Eclipse (well I did :0), and they went to the Zoo and saw Santa! The kiddos colds came with a little bit of conjunctivitis. Connor’s lasted about 2 days, but Gwynn’s just wouldn’t clear up! I decided with Christmas quickly approaching and a new baby coming to our house I needed to take her to the doctor. We were leaving for the hospital at the same time the “Crazies” were leaving and my car wouldn’t start AGAIN! I have decided that they either can never come again, or they can never leave once they are here :0) We pushed the car out, jumped it and we were good to go again. Gwynn was diagnosed (after 45 min of waiting for the dr.) with an eye infection which did clear up with medication.
We went to the Christmas Eve service and Elizabeth and I played bells. One of our players had surgery and couldn’t make it, so I picked up her bells and did the best I could do sight reading and playing foreign hand (2 bells in one hand) It was fun!! Connor fell asleep during the service and Gwynn wouldn’t stop moving around so that she didn’t!
My mom and step-dad, my brother Abraham, his wife Megan and their baby Alex came and spent a week with us at Christmas! It was great, I got a lot of baby snuggle time in :0) We didn’t have a white Christmas, but we did get some snow at the end of the week. We found out some very exciting news about someone in my family, but I can’t share it because they don’t want me too yet…**pout** Oh yeah and I failed to mention that they day MY parents left, my car died too!! So, I took it in and everything is fine…they said I must have a leech somewhere…who knows!
It continues to amaze me how quickly my kiddos grow and change. Connor is now doing 2 digit addition in his head and asking questions about things he is way too young to even know about (divorce, adoption, boys and girls marring each other…) the joys of school, huh?!? Gwynn is starting to write her name and recognizes the letters of the Alphabet. I love to watch her play…she is so imaginative and has such a forgiving heart!
So, now it’s the New Year! 2011. My house is still in desperate need of recovery from the Holidaze. I am slowly working on it though. I have a few unfinished Christmas projects, I didn’t even get out all of my Christmas cards…lol…maybe they will be Valentine projects :0) This is the year Dustin comes home! YAY!!! We are almost half way there! New year, with new beginnings. I never make New Year resolutions because I think that every day we should try to learn new things resolve to be better. I have been waiting for life to slow down, after D left, school started and all of the changes that happened, but I am starting to realize that life just doesn’t slow down…it just changes! I am ready to jump with both feet into whatever this year brings!
Silver Linings
♥Our families who are willing to travel to be with us!
♥The year of the return :0)
Verses of the Day:
Phillipians 3:13-14… forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you
2Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
On the night of day 105 (beginning of Nov), Connor came into my room SICK! He could barely breathe and was coughing, or should I say barking! Thankfully this had happened once before and so I knew to take him in the steamed up bathroom. That did get his cough under control. I envisioned taking him to the doctor the next day, however he woke up much better!! Sadly, that night he got much worse. Saying I got no sleep isn’t quite right, because my body did shut down a few times. I was afraid to fall asleep because Connor would stop breathing, and then gasp for air. It was the scariest thing in the world. Now, being a “single” mom you have to weigh your options. Do I, get the kids up, dressed and go to the ER or do I lay here trying to stay awake and keep an eye on my child so that they at least get sleep? Well, I am sure you can figure out what I did. After a trip to the doc the next day, Croup and he suggested that I have a sleep study done on him to see why he stopped breathing. However, since neither the doc or I could see in Connor’s throat because he tonsils were so enlarged, the reason was pretty clear.
That was just the beginning of a very hectic few months! Gwynn also contracted Croup. However, I couldn’t get her breathing under control with the steamed up room or anything else. Because she laid there crying, her chest sinking with every breath and her cough getting worse, I ended up taking her to the ER. In addition to her Croup, she had strep! YAY :0)
We had play practice, bell practice, this party, that party, this performance, that performance, school work, home work, sewing projects, dentist with 3 perfect checkups…we even got our family picture done!
Connor got an entire week off for Thanksgiving! It was great because Aunt Suzie, Tyler, Grandpa and Grandma Elser (the crazy ones :0)and even a surprise guest, one of Suzie’s high school friends, came and spent Turkey Day with us! Gwynn got a play house as an early Christmas gift. That was fun to put together and watch her “open” even though there were “No mommies allowed!” Grandpa helped me hang the Christmas lights on the outside of my house and we put up our Christmas trees. This year, because I knew I wasn’t going to really enjoy the holidays, I decided to do something just for myself. I got a white tree and decorated it with PINK and silver balls :0) We even got to celebrate Dustin’s 30th birthday with cake!
The day they left, I went to start my car and NOTHING! I put the trickle charger on and let it run all night. When I went to check on it in the morning, of course it wasn’t fully charged yet. It wasn’t a big deal, I would just take Dustin’s truck to church and then figure it out after that! There was one flaw in that play, a parking break that wouldn’t release!! Thankfully, Dustin got on and told me how to manually release the parking break on his truck. I even took him down there on the laptop and had him walk me through it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work! I did get the car to start so I threw the cables in my car and decided if anything, someone at church could jump me so I could get home :0) I went down one more time to try the parking break, this time bringing gloves with me, and I GOT IT! I had a little victory dance, pulled it around front and then proceeded to take the battery out of my car so I could get it tested after church (and of course, it was FINE!) Anyway, so in a day, I learned to change my own battery and manually release a parking break! Big day for me :0)
Then of course, the one day I am 45 minutes away from him, Connor decides to get sick at school and start throwing up! Thankfully Uncle Sean had the day off and he and Aunt Elizabeth could go pick him up for me. Of course, 2 days later, the kiddos had a bell performance and Connor had a birthday party to go to and the next day was the Christmas play at church. He was feeling better, but Gwynn just had no energy. As I was picking Connor up from the party, she threw up in the car! Both of them kind of got a cold right away and it got worse and worse, and I got it and we are all now just really getting over it.
The Crazy Grandparents and Great-Grandma came for a few days before Christmas. We had a lot of fun with them again, tried some new recipes, opened a few gifts, saw the Lunar Eclipse (well I did :0), and they went to the Zoo and saw Santa! The kiddos colds came with a little bit of conjunctivitis. Connor’s lasted about 2 days, but Gwynn’s just wouldn’t clear up! I decided with Christmas quickly approaching and a new baby coming to our house I needed to take her to the doctor. We were leaving for the hospital at the same time the “Crazies” were leaving and my car wouldn’t start AGAIN! I have decided that they either can never come again, or they can never leave once they are here :0) We pushed the car out, jumped it and we were good to go again. Gwynn was diagnosed (after 45 min of waiting for the dr.) with an eye infection which did clear up with medication.
We went to the Christmas Eve service and Elizabeth and I played bells. One of our players had surgery and couldn’t make it, so I picked up her bells and did the best I could do sight reading and playing foreign hand (2 bells in one hand) It was fun!! Connor fell asleep during the service and Gwynn wouldn’t stop moving around so that she didn’t!
My mom and step-dad, my brother Abraham, his wife Megan and their baby Alex came and spent a week with us at Christmas! It was great, I got a lot of baby snuggle time in :0) We didn’t have a white Christmas, but we did get some snow at the end of the week. We found out some very exciting news about someone in my family, but I can’t share it because they don’t want me too yet…**pout** Oh yeah and I failed to mention that they day MY parents left, my car died too!! So, I took it in and everything is fine…they said I must have a leech somewhere…who knows!
It continues to amaze me how quickly my kiddos grow and change. Connor is now doing 2 digit addition in his head and asking questions about things he is way too young to even know about (divorce, adoption, boys and girls marring each other…) the joys of school, huh?!? Gwynn is starting to write her name and recognizes the letters of the Alphabet. I love to watch her play…she is so imaginative and has such a forgiving heart!
So, now it’s the New Year! 2011. My house is still in desperate need of recovery from the Holidaze. I am slowly working on it though. I have a few unfinished Christmas projects, I didn’t even get out all of my Christmas cards…lol…maybe they will be Valentine projects :0) This is the year Dustin comes home! YAY!!! We are almost half way there! New year, with new beginnings. I never make New Year resolutions because I think that every day we should try to learn new things resolve to be better. I have been waiting for life to slow down, after D left, school started and all of the changes that happened, but I am starting to realize that life just doesn’t slow down…it just changes! I am ready to jump with both feet into whatever this year brings!
Silver Linings
♥Our families who are willing to travel to be with us!
♥The year of the return :0)
Verses of the Day:
Phillipians 3:13-14… forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you
2Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Days 80-104
Apparently I am only blogging every 3 weeks :0) I keep expecting life to slow down and it hasn’t! In the last 3 weeks we finished up soccer, had our first Parent Teacher Conference, made a weekend trip down to NM, had Connor’s 6th b-day part, put on a fondue feast for PWOC, and made a cake for a Baby Shower. It’s been a busy 3 weeks. It’s been fun though and more importantly, it’s flown by!! We are already past day 100!
I can hardly believe that Connor turned 6! I thank God for giving me such a sweet little boy. He is kind and caring. He loves to learn. He loves to say the Pledge of Allegiance. He loves to sing Praise music. He is great with Gwynn…most of the time :0) It is amazing to me how much he is really starting to understand. Most nights as Gwynn is taking her bath, Connor and I will lay in my bed and talk. One night he told me he was afraid that his daddy was going to die before he came home. WOW. What do you say?? So, I did what I felt was best and we had an honest conversation about it. I asked him why and he said, “Because daddy has a gun and guns shoot and kill people. I don’t want daddy to get shot and die.” My heart broke. Like I said, I had an honest talk with him about it. I told him that it honestly could happen. I told him that it was in God’s hands though. That none of us are promised tomorrow and when God wants us to come home to him, he will call us. And if that happens, it will be sad, but that God will take care of us. We just need to pray and ask him to keep our daddy safe and bring him home. We had a very good Parent Teacher Conference. His teacher said he is performing above grade level in every subject. He wrote an entire page about his scarecrow and his teacher said that a 2 word sentence was very good for this stage of Kindergarten. I know you’re not supposed to be boastful, but I am pretty proud of him! Then he was chosen to be the Citizen of the Quarter for his class!
Gwynn is as lively as ever. She dances her way from room to room. She says the most outrageous things. Like, “But Princesses are not supposed to go to time out!” and “Yes, that would not be appropriate.” and “God walks into our heart.” And “I don’t like YOUR tone!” She is such a little bubble of energy! She’s been really cuddly lately…which I don’t mind at all!! She’s also had some separation issues. She actually cried a few times when I left her :0( She’s been getting up between 5 and 5:30 for a few weeks now too which is really getting old, fast!!
Dustin and his 1st SGT disagreed on something. His BC agreed with him. He got moved to the night shift. I LOVED it!! We were both up at the same time! There wasn’t much going on at all so we got to talk a lot!! I love skype! It’s so amazing to me that I get to spend my day with my hubby even while he is so far away. He can sit there and watch the kids play or fight depending on how the day is going and we get to see his smiling face! Love it!! We've been making plans for a trip after he gets back too. I am really excited about it. We haven't really done anything for ourselves in a LONG time...it's been too long! I am really excited :0)
One of the challenging things about being THE adult in the house is that you have to do everything. This includes eradicating the 23 yellow jackets that had gotten comfortable in my window frames while we were away for the weekend. I have now ended the life of 33…in my house! Now, had Dustin been home I am sure he would have taken on that responsibility. He is a “weapon of mass destruction” after all ;0) Here lies the challenge though. When you’re the sole parent, you take it all on. You have to learn to be strong while also being gentle. You have to learn to be the bad cop and the good cop. You have to pay the bills, fix dinner, mow the lawn, work the screw driver, do the dishes, kill the bugs, plant the flowers…and then your hubby comes home. The challenge is to become the person you were before and give back the responsibilities you didn’t have before. It can be as challenging as taking on the new roles to begin with!
As for me, God is really working on me! I have been really convicted about negative thoughts and things coming out of my mouth. Of course it seems that when you’re convicted of something, you have lots of practice to make it right!! It has been really difficult! Especially with all of the political propaganda that is going on. I am getting so frustrated! It makes me so sad that all you hear about either side is mudslinging! Sometimes all I want to do is yell and scream and point out how illogical some things are. However, I think I’ve been pretty good at just shouting it upward! Of course God has put people in my life that give me practice in my everyday life with this lesson too. It’s a hard one, but I think it’s an important one!
I see so much sadness and anger around me too. I feel that it comes from a sense of entitlement. So many people blame everyone else for their situation instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and decisions. Then they expect to be given everything and for someone else to fix their problems for them. I have seen so much take, take, take and people not remembering that you need to give too. You can’t just take. If everyone takes, there will be nothing to give. It just makes my heart sink to know they could be so happy if they would stop focusing on themselves and move their focus upward. Oh how I wish more people knew the love and peace Christ has given to me.
One night, as Dustin was watching the kids he said, “Wow, Gwynn isn’t a toddler any more. She has changed SO much in the last 3 months.” She has too. I had this overwhelming sensation of loss and sadness. Not so much for me, but for my husband who is missing so much. God is so good and faithful though. He took me to Jeremiah 33. It talks about a desolate place where neither man nor animal will inhabit. Then it speaks of the Lord’s enduring Love and how he restores the fortunes of the land as they were before! It brought such peace to my heart. Yes, these are challenging times and occasionally it feels like I am living in a desolate land. However, God’s love endures forever and he will restore my “land” as it was before!
Bible Verse of the Day:
Jeremiah 33:11: Give thanks to the Lord Almighty, for the Lord is good, his love endures forever!
I can hardly believe that Connor turned 6! I thank God for giving me such a sweet little boy. He is kind and caring. He loves to learn. He loves to say the Pledge of Allegiance. He loves to sing Praise music. He is great with Gwynn…most of the time :0) It is amazing to me how much he is really starting to understand. Most nights as Gwynn is taking her bath, Connor and I will lay in my bed and talk. One night he told me he was afraid that his daddy was going to die before he came home. WOW. What do you say?? So, I did what I felt was best and we had an honest conversation about it. I asked him why and he said, “Because daddy has a gun and guns shoot and kill people. I don’t want daddy to get shot and die.” My heart broke. Like I said, I had an honest talk with him about it. I told him that it honestly could happen. I told him that it was in God’s hands though. That none of us are promised tomorrow and when God wants us to come home to him, he will call us. And if that happens, it will be sad, but that God will take care of us. We just need to pray and ask him to keep our daddy safe and bring him home. We had a very good Parent Teacher Conference. His teacher said he is performing above grade level in every subject. He wrote an entire page about his scarecrow and his teacher said that a 2 word sentence was very good for this stage of Kindergarten. I know you’re not supposed to be boastful, but I am pretty proud of him! Then he was chosen to be the Citizen of the Quarter for his class!
Gwynn is as lively as ever. She dances her way from room to room. She says the most outrageous things. Like, “But Princesses are not supposed to go to time out!” and “Yes, that would not be appropriate.” and “God walks into our heart.” And “I don’t like YOUR tone!” She is such a little bubble of energy! She’s been really cuddly lately…which I don’t mind at all!! She’s also had some separation issues. She actually cried a few times when I left her :0( She’s been getting up between 5 and 5:30 for a few weeks now too which is really getting old, fast!!
Dustin and his 1st SGT disagreed on something. His BC agreed with him. He got moved to the night shift. I LOVED it!! We were both up at the same time! There wasn’t much going on at all so we got to talk a lot!! I love skype! It’s so amazing to me that I get to spend my day with my hubby even while he is so far away. He can sit there and watch the kids play or fight depending on how the day is going and we get to see his smiling face! Love it!! We've been making plans for a trip after he gets back too. I am really excited about it. We haven't really done anything for ourselves in a LONG time...it's been too long! I am really excited :0)
One of the challenging things about being THE adult in the house is that you have to do everything. This includes eradicating the 23 yellow jackets that had gotten comfortable in my window frames while we were away for the weekend. I have now ended the life of 33…in my house! Now, had Dustin been home I am sure he would have taken on that responsibility. He is a “weapon of mass destruction” after all ;0) Here lies the challenge though. When you’re the sole parent, you take it all on. You have to learn to be strong while also being gentle. You have to learn to be the bad cop and the good cop. You have to pay the bills, fix dinner, mow the lawn, work the screw driver, do the dishes, kill the bugs, plant the flowers…and then your hubby comes home. The challenge is to become the person you were before and give back the responsibilities you didn’t have before. It can be as challenging as taking on the new roles to begin with!
As for me, God is really working on me! I have been really convicted about negative thoughts and things coming out of my mouth. Of course it seems that when you’re convicted of something, you have lots of practice to make it right!! It has been really difficult! Especially with all of the political propaganda that is going on. I am getting so frustrated! It makes me so sad that all you hear about either side is mudslinging! Sometimes all I want to do is yell and scream and point out how illogical some things are. However, I think I’ve been pretty good at just shouting it upward! Of course God has put people in my life that give me practice in my everyday life with this lesson too. It’s a hard one, but I think it’s an important one!
I see so much sadness and anger around me too. I feel that it comes from a sense of entitlement. So many people blame everyone else for their situation instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and decisions. Then they expect to be given everything and for someone else to fix their problems for them. I have seen so much take, take, take and people not remembering that you need to give too. You can’t just take. If everyone takes, there will be nothing to give. It just makes my heart sink to know they could be so happy if they would stop focusing on themselves and move their focus upward. Oh how I wish more people knew the love and peace Christ has given to me.
One night, as Dustin was watching the kids he said, “Wow, Gwynn isn’t a toddler any more. She has changed SO much in the last 3 months.” She has too. I had this overwhelming sensation of loss and sadness. Not so much for me, but for my husband who is missing so much. God is so good and faithful though. He took me to Jeremiah 33. It talks about a desolate place where neither man nor animal will inhabit. Then it speaks of the Lord’s enduring Love and how he restores the fortunes of the land as they were before! It brought such peace to my heart. Yes, these are challenging times and occasionally it feels like I am living in a desolate land. However, God’s love endures forever and he will restore my “land” as it was before!
Bible Verse of the Day:
Jeremiah 33:11: Give thanks to the Lord Almighty, for the Lord is good, his love endures forever!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Days 66-79
Wow! It’s been a while since I blogged!! I have been uber busy! However, I have finally reached the point where I feel like I have it! I think the transition is over and we are on a roll now. Tomorrow is Gwynn’s last soccer game. I am excited to maybe have my Saturday’s back! Gwynn is doing better. She is at least staying on the field for the whole game now :0) We are really enjoying bell choir! The kid’s choir is playing this Sunday for the service. I am going to hide behind Gwynn because sometimes she needs a little nudge…literally :0) Connor is having fun at school. He had silly sock/cowboy day and today he got to wear his jammies to school and they get pancakes! Trying to find him season appropriate jamimes that still fit was a challenge though!
We have a few celebrations in October. Of course, Halloween is one of them. The kiddos go their costumes and they are pretty darn excited about them! Gwynn is going to be Sleeping Beauty and Connor is going to be Ironman. The other big one…Connor will be 6 this month! Where does the time go?!? We are doing a Super Why birthday and he told me that he wants a fish, a turtle and plastic drums for his birthday.
I had the opportunity this month to learn about a new bug…the ant lion! I was out mowing the lawn when I realized I had pits in the sand box. I smoothed them over and an hour later they were back! Once again I smoothed them over and then kept an eye on it while the kiddos played in the sprinkler…(with the neighbor kids yelling rude comments to Gwynn about being a naked girl…for a while ago…) As I watched, I saw these little figure 8s appear in the sand and so I watched closely and saw the sand being kicked up. I came in and went to my favorite place for general knowledge…Google! I discovered that I had an ant lion infestation! They are the craziest bugs…they dig these pits, ants fall in and they grab them from underneath while the ant is trying to escape. Anyway, Raid does not kill them. I had to dig them out, smooth my sand box, wait for pits, dig more out…and then the cold finally got the rest of them! I also killed a few wasps in my house. Never a dull moment with other living creatures at my house!
We had a great week where Dustin was back at the place he has internet! The kiddos and I got to talk to him frequently and it was so nice. It is amazing how you can grow closer together when you are so far apart. I love how protective he is. My neighbor and I were talking about preparing the kiddos to walk to and home from the bus by themselves. We have a plan. We stand back and watch them walk home from the bus to make sure they know the way and how to do it safely. Then we let them walk home by themselves…then we let them walk to the bus themselves. It’s cute though because Dustin was a little nervous to let him do that. Then one day Connor was “busy” when I had to take Elizabeth home…so I allowed him to stay home by himself. It’s a 10 minute roudtrip. I gave him strict instructions on what he could and could not do. I came home and he had answered the phone (which was a do not do) but it was Dustin, and he knew that it was. Dustin “watched” Connor for me while I was gone. He is so sweet and I love how he takes care of us even from that far away!
We all got sick! Connor got a fever and was throwing up. He missed his first day of school. I was next! Thankfully it hit on a weekend where I could just lay in bed and sleep all day. My neighbor, Cindy took the kiddos for a few hours so I could rest…so sweet! Then it was Gwynn. We’re all over that and on the mend now. Connor however has a really red chapped nose…poor guy!
I remember back to the beginning of the deployment…all 79 days ago :0) where I was excited to have a year to work on myself and grow in my faith. Well, that hasn’t really been happening as I thought it would! Last time it really was pretty easy. It came fast and hard. This time it’s been work! I am constantly finding myself in situations where I just don’t know what to do or how to respond. I am finding however, that it is making me a better person as I lean on God to find my way.
I had also said that this year I was going to read the Bible through. Well, I have changed my mind. Anyone can read the Bible in a year. My new approach is to really STUDY the Bible. So, while I am doing my readings, I learn as much about the Book as I can. When it was written, by whom, for whom…that kind of stuff so I have a better understanding of what I am reading and what it means. Additionally, I am reading passages in context. I have found that you can spout off a passage, but it can mean something totally different if you know the history of the passage and read what is said around it. Reading does not equal Knowledge! Studying equals Knowledge!
One thing that keeps coming up again and again is what is to come out of your mouth! I am so quick to be harsh with my kids or complain to someone instead of taking my thoughts and actions captive. This is definitely something I will be working on! I have also been convicted of how my actions can affect other believers and new believers. I am constantly reminded that my life needs to be a reflection of Christ not my flesh. It has been a struggle a few times. Several things have come up where I just want to spout off my mouth and say what I really think/feel, but I am learning to bite my tongue and just pray about it. Prayerfully, by the time Dustin comes home, he’ll come home to a changed wife!
Verse of the Day: Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Silver Linings
♥the smile my kiddos constantly put on my face
♥the blessings God has given me
♥challenging situations because they bring about growth!
♥a desire to know Christ more
We have a few celebrations in October. Of course, Halloween is one of them. The kiddos go their costumes and they are pretty darn excited about them! Gwynn is going to be Sleeping Beauty and Connor is going to be Ironman. The other big one…Connor will be 6 this month! Where does the time go?!? We are doing a Super Why birthday and he told me that he wants a fish, a turtle and plastic drums for his birthday.
I had the opportunity this month to learn about a new bug…the ant lion! I was out mowing the lawn when I realized I had pits in the sand box. I smoothed them over and an hour later they were back! Once again I smoothed them over and then kept an eye on it while the kiddos played in the sprinkler…(with the neighbor kids yelling rude comments to Gwynn about being a naked girl…for a while ago…) As I watched, I saw these little figure 8s appear in the sand and so I watched closely and saw the sand being kicked up. I came in and went to my favorite place for general knowledge…Google! I discovered that I had an ant lion infestation! They are the craziest bugs…they dig these pits, ants fall in and they grab them from underneath while the ant is trying to escape. Anyway, Raid does not kill them. I had to dig them out, smooth my sand box, wait for pits, dig more out…and then the cold finally got the rest of them! I also killed a few wasps in my house. Never a dull moment with other living creatures at my house!
We had a great week where Dustin was back at the place he has internet! The kiddos and I got to talk to him frequently and it was so nice. It is amazing how you can grow closer together when you are so far apart. I love how protective he is. My neighbor and I were talking about preparing the kiddos to walk to and home from the bus by themselves. We have a plan. We stand back and watch them walk home from the bus to make sure they know the way and how to do it safely. Then we let them walk home by themselves…then we let them walk to the bus themselves. It’s cute though because Dustin was a little nervous to let him do that. Then one day Connor was “busy” when I had to take Elizabeth home…so I allowed him to stay home by himself. It’s a 10 minute roudtrip. I gave him strict instructions on what he could and could not do. I came home and he had answered the phone (which was a do not do) but it was Dustin, and he knew that it was. Dustin “watched” Connor for me while I was gone. He is so sweet and I love how he takes care of us even from that far away!
We all got sick! Connor got a fever and was throwing up. He missed his first day of school. I was next! Thankfully it hit on a weekend where I could just lay in bed and sleep all day. My neighbor, Cindy took the kiddos for a few hours so I could rest…so sweet! Then it was Gwynn. We’re all over that and on the mend now. Connor however has a really red chapped nose…poor guy!
I remember back to the beginning of the deployment…all 79 days ago :0) where I was excited to have a year to work on myself and grow in my faith. Well, that hasn’t really been happening as I thought it would! Last time it really was pretty easy. It came fast and hard. This time it’s been work! I am constantly finding myself in situations where I just don’t know what to do or how to respond. I am finding however, that it is making me a better person as I lean on God to find my way.
I had also said that this year I was going to read the Bible through. Well, I have changed my mind. Anyone can read the Bible in a year. My new approach is to really STUDY the Bible. So, while I am doing my readings, I learn as much about the Book as I can. When it was written, by whom, for whom…that kind of stuff so I have a better understanding of what I am reading and what it means. Additionally, I am reading passages in context. I have found that you can spout off a passage, but it can mean something totally different if you know the history of the passage and read what is said around it. Reading does not equal Knowledge! Studying equals Knowledge!
One thing that keeps coming up again and again is what is to come out of your mouth! I am so quick to be harsh with my kids or complain to someone instead of taking my thoughts and actions captive. This is definitely something I will be working on! I have also been convicted of how my actions can affect other believers and new believers. I am constantly reminded that my life needs to be a reflection of Christ not my flesh. It has been a struggle a few times. Several things have come up where I just want to spout off my mouth and say what I really think/feel, but I am learning to bite my tongue and just pray about it. Prayerfully, by the time Dustin comes home, he’ll come home to a changed wife!
Verse of the Day: Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Silver Linings
♥the smile my kiddos constantly put on my face
♥the blessings God has given me
♥challenging situations because they bring about growth!
♥a desire to know Christ more
Days 59-65
I wrote this quite a while ago and apparently forgot to post it so here goes...current one forthcoming...
My life is hard. Some days, my life feels downright impossible. Some days all I have to cling to is my faith. Sometimes my heart hurts so badly that it literally aches. Sometimes I cry because I feel so overwhelmed that I just don’t know what to do. If I can just get through today…tomorrow will be better. Today I was humbled because I bet that describes your life too…am I right?
Too often I feel entitled to people’s sympathy, as if my struggles are more important. I was really convicted of this today though. All around me people are hurting in ways where I am richly blessed. Sure my husband might be gone for a year, but I have an amazingly strong marriage. Our relationship has been pretty easy. I am married to a wonderful man who loves me and I love him. I know a lot of people who haven’t been blessed with that. Sure my kiddos are difficult to handle sometimes, but I have been blessed with 2 amazing children. I know many people who would love to be parents and haven’t been given that blessing. There are many people who are sick, hungry, swamped with debt, homeless, impoverished…I don’t have those burdens to carry right now. Even though I get really frustrated with the health care that I receive sometimes, I know many who are under-insured or not insured at all.
I am richly blessed. I need to not take that for granted. I need to get back into the habit of remembering that and being grateful for what I do have…not focusing on my struggles. Everyone has a hard life…just in different ways.
The past few weeks I haven’t heard much from Dustin. It’s really hard. I can literally feel the stress build up in my head as every day passes where we don’t get to talk, my head hurts a little bit more… Today, I am walking on sunshine! I woke up to my computer ringing and the kiddos and I got to have a pretty good talk with daddy on the webcam! I haven’t seen smiles on our faces that big in a long time. It felt great! As I walked home from the bus stop, I saw one of my favorite things in the whole world. Dark clouds covered the sky and in the middle, the sun was shining through. There were huge beams of light breaking the darkness. It always reminds me of God’s goodness.
Verse of the day: 2Corinthians 9:15
Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!
Silver Linings
♥ The son always shines through my clouds
My life is hard. Some days, my life feels downright impossible. Some days all I have to cling to is my faith. Sometimes my heart hurts so badly that it literally aches. Sometimes I cry because I feel so overwhelmed that I just don’t know what to do. If I can just get through today…tomorrow will be better. Today I was humbled because I bet that describes your life too…am I right?
Too often I feel entitled to people’s sympathy, as if my struggles are more important. I was really convicted of this today though. All around me people are hurting in ways where I am richly blessed. Sure my husband might be gone for a year, but I have an amazingly strong marriage. Our relationship has been pretty easy. I am married to a wonderful man who loves me and I love him. I know a lot of people who haven’t been blessed with that. Sure my kiddos are difficult to handle sometimes, but I have been blessed with 2 amazing children. I know many people who would love to be parents and haven’t been given that blessing. There are many people who are sick, hungry, swamped with debt, homeless, impoverished…I don’t have those burdens to carry right now. Even though I get really frustrated with the health care that I receive sometimes, I know many who are under-insured or not insured at all.
I am richly blessed. I need to not take that for granted. I need to get back into the habit of remembering that and being grateful for what I do have…not focusing on my struggles. Everyone has a hard life…just in different ways.
The past few weeks I haven’t heard much from Dustin. It’s really hard. I can literally feel the stress build up in my head as every day passes where we don’t get to talk, my head hurts a little bit more… Today, I am walking on sunshine! I woke up to my computer ringing and the kiddos and I got to have a pretty good talk with daddy on the webcam! I haven’t seen smiles on our faces that big in a long time. It felt great! As I walked home from the bus stop, I saw one of my favorite things in the whole world. Dark clouds covered the sky and in the middle, the sun was shining through. There were huge beams of light breaking the darkness. It always reminds me of God’s goodness.
Verse of the day: 2Corinthians 9:15
Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!
Silver Linings
♥ The son always shines through my clouds
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)