Day 35

Last night I employed some of my father-in-laws suggestions on “how to catch a mouse.” Both he and Dustin told me that patience is the key. I am sorry, but when I am dealing with a tiny gross invader by myself, with two little ones running around…it’s kind of hard to be patient! This time I put the peanut butter on the bottom of the trap (both Dustin and his dad suggested I do this) and then I made it a maze to get to. Russ told me to make it a challenge as it has already provided a few days of entertainment. I hope this is entertaining all of you, my faithful readers…because I am not amused :0) Anyway, I stacked some rocks and pavers around the trap so that the mouse had to jump down on to the trap to get the peanut butter. It also left a gap where I slid a trap in so that it would have to be crawled to.

This morning after walking Connor to the bus stop I couldn’t help but practically run home to see if I had captured my arch nemesis. I put on my blue plastic gloves, demanded that Gwynn stay inside and headed out to the garage. Sure enough…there it was…caught in a trap! I was so excited! I was microscopically grossed out as I took that mouse, put it in a bag and took it to its casket…the trash. I felt like I had won! Gwynn was quite distraught that I didn’t bring the mouse in to put in a cage. She wanted a new friend.

Little did I know that was just a battle and not the war! I was in my bathroom putting on lip ointment and Gwynn was sitting on my floor playing with some toys. As if I saw The Flash, I barely saw a streak of brown race across the floor just barely missing Gywnn, snaking the other direction to miss me and behind the toilet! AHHHHHHHHHH…it literally took my breath away!

I slammed the door shut, put a towel down to close the gap, again demanded that Gwynn GET OUT and ran for a mouse trap. I had to leave my house. I can’t stand to even think that I might hear that spring slam into action! Upon returning to my invaded house, I found I had not been successful in capturing the mouse yet. I had really put off putting traps in my house because I don’t want to have to clean up that mess in my house. However, there are now 3 traps strategically placed and ready to spring into action! I can now bait and set a trap with one hand! I have too…I’ll never be able to afford gloves at this rate!

This is war…and Connor took that a little too far, putting pink Barbie toothpaste on his face as war paint. I am an elephant. I am a big fat elephant sitting in my chair with my feet propped up scared to death of a tiny mouse. I would rather sleep on my couch than my bed tonight and chance being in the same room as this nocturnal nuisance. Every noise I hear is the mouse. As I was working my elliptical I heard the mouse scurrying across my ceiling right above my head…until I realized it was the ice sloshing around my water bottle. Of course I have salmonella poisoning and the hantavirus from cleaning up mouse droppings…so maybe the mouse won that battle…but I am determined to win the war (even if I am not alive to witness it)!!

Bible Verse:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Silver Linings:

♥One mouse down
♥Connor had his first "play date"
♥Gwynn bringing her microphone to the bus and making up a song to sing good bye to Connor

Days 29-34

How on earth do I let 6 days get away from me?!? Oh wait, I can tell you…they have been CRAZY!!!!!

Gwynn is getting into her very imaginative stage. She is great at playing and making things up. One night she said she saw a ghost…she had both herself and Connor too scared to sleep! Then she told me she hear a voice in her room that said, “What big eyes you have Gwynnie!” So, she slept in my room because she was up at 9:45…”not tired!” It only took her 2 minutes to fall asleep in my bed. She also woke up in a bean bag in Connor’s room one morning. She claims it’s quite comfortable! She also came up from her nap one day and told me that her frog’s eye jumped into her eye and it hurt. I figured she had played with it and snapped it into her eye. I went to put some eye drops in her eye and realized that the frog’s eye was IN her eye!!! It took Uncle Sean and Aunt Elizabeth holding her down for me to get it out with a q-tip! She started soccer!! She is SO cute out there! She played her little heart out. It really makes me sad that Dustin has to miss this. We had church in the park. I was nervous because 1…it was in a park and 2…she usually goes to nursery…but she did better than Connor did! I was so proud of her. She even stood up and “sang” with us! She had a rough week…she really missed Connor while he was at school.

Connor had a BIG week! He put in 40 hours at school!! That’s enough to make anyone tired!! On Wednesday, he asked our neighbor girl to marry him!! She said no because they were too young, but when they got older, she would change her mind :0) Then they were pretending to be married and KISSED!!! The story is that they kissed on the cheek…I hope that’s true! Anyway, Connor’s first kiss :0) He had a rough day on Friday. I guess he had to go to the “refocus” chair 6 times! I did however find out that shortly before those treacherous trips to that magical chair (obviously not too magical!) their teacher gave them cupcakes and ice cream…so not totally his fault :0) Connor is getting an early birthday present. He literally played his Leapster to death. Dustin and I talked about it a lot and decided to get him a Didj. We’ll see how that goes. To me, there just wasn’t a perfect solution.

I had my well woman appointment. I sure wish I had enjoyed it more since that was the only action I will be seeing for the next 11 months! That reminds me, we hit the 1 month mark!! YAY!!! I am still waiting for life to settle down! It is hard for me to believe it’s already been a month. It has flown by and at the same time it feels like it has been forever!! I was finally able to pick up our ball pictures. Just looking at his face brought tears to my eyes. I miss Dustin so much. We knew about the possibility of this deployment for a lot longer than we told people…and with good reason. Things are always changing. You never really know what is going to happen and when until you get the official news. It has been hard though. You sit there with this ball of knowledge tucked safely in the very back of your mind…but it’s there…like a knot in your head. I think it made me shut down, numb out. It’s been hard for me to get really excited or overly sad and I think it’s because I have, in a way, shut down. It is slowly hitting me though how much I miss Dustin. Maybe I just prepared so much for this one that it didn’t really hit until I looked at his smiling face in that picture. I don’t really miss the intimacy…yet…but I just miss being with him. I miss being able to tell him whatever I want whenever I want. I miss watching TV with him at night, sitting next to him in church, and laughing about our kiddos together. I miss his arms around me in bed. I miss getting a good bye and a hello kiss every day. And I really miss him when I have to deal with things like…

How to catch a mouse!

This is one thing that is driving me NUTS! However, I shouldn’t complain because Dustin said that they are catching 5-10 a day there and the mice there will run at you and attack you!! When the Terminix man came he told me that he found droppings in my furnace room. He set up traps in there and in the garage. He put sticky traps in and told me if I heard screeching…I got him. I didn’t think I could handle that so I went on line to see how long it took them to die. I read such horrible things about the sticky traps. I felt guilty for even attempting to kill them that way. I ran to the store to get the fast kill ones. Wally was out of them, so I got the enclosed ones that are supposed to take them in and close on them. I set them up and waited. The next morning, with my heart pounding in my chest, I crept out to see if I caught him. Nope! I didn’t do anything for another day, until I found droppings under my kitchen sink and peanut butter on the entrance to the enclosing trap!!

I ran and got some snap traps from Lowe’s. I put peanut butter on them and waited. The next morning I summoned up all the courage I had again to go and see if I caught anything. Sure enough I hadn’t, but ALL the peanut butter had been eaten of the traps and they were still set! Okay, this is personal and this is WAR!
I set up 6 traps with the smallest dabs of peanut butter on them as close to the spring as I could. I can hear where the mouse is, so I set the traps right next to his hole. Once again, I sucked it up and went to check…NO WAY! All of the traps had again been licked clean and nothing had been set off! I decided to move them around and set off 2 on my own fingers! This mouse is really getting on my nerves! So, I reached the point where I don’t care about being nice any more. I put the sticky trap in a position so that the mouse has no choice but to walk through it to get out. There was a small gap at the top so I put a spring trap on top of it. Then I put others all around that. I took a Cheerio and put a dap of peanut butter on it and put it inside the sticky trap. You won’t believe this…the Cheerio had been tipped up, the peanut butter licked clean and NO MOUSE! AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh! I asked my father-in-law for some advice and I am going to try a few of his suggestions tonight…I will catch this mouse!

Bible Verse:

… let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)

Silver Linings:

♥Connor made it through his first week of school

♥I made it through Connor’s first week of school

♥One month down!

Days 27-28

The last 2 days have been so bittersweet! Sunday I found a black widow hanging out on my couch in the basement…literally suspended between the back of the couch and the cushions. Gwynn found it, screamed and Connor came and told me. I just thought it was a big black Spider. I killed it and as I was going to send it to its watery grave, I noticed some orange markings. I put it in a plastic bag and got on google. I found out that it was a black widow…they can have red, orange or yellow marks! I had no idea. The back side wasn’t rounded and it was much bigger than widows I had seen before. Anyway…I called in the Pest Experts! Sadly, they couldn’t come until yesterday; Tuesday.

It was the night before Connor’s first day of school and I was torn. I didn’t want to put the kiddos to bed down stairs, but we don’t all sleep well in my bed and Connor needed a good night’s rest. I decided to just put them to bed down there. It was probably a fluke.

Connor was up at 6:30 and ready for school! He took a shower, got dressed with socks and shoes, had breakfast, brushed his teeth, had his back pack on and ready to go at 7!! The bus doesn’t pick up until 7:57 :0) It was really hard to keep him busy enough that he didn’t lose his mind until it was time to go.

As we were leaving, our neighbor, Mia ran out and gave Connor a huge hug! They are in the same class :0) They held hands the whole way to the bus. It was so sweet. We all waited anxiously for the bus to come and I knew it was coming when both Connor and Mia started jumping up and down with sheer joy. Mrs T., the bus driver came out to explain the rules and tell us the girls get on the bus first :0) It was too cute. I snapped SO many pictures. I did really good and didn’t cry at all! It did help that I was walking home with my neighbor and Gwynn. I did get really choked up when I was looking at pictures and happened to catch Connor sitting on the bus with the biggest smile on his face!

All day I would look at the clock and wonder what he was doing. I seriously expected a call from the school about him…saying he was crying too much, or was acting up or, accidentally ingested eggs…I don’t know…nervous first time mom I guess! Gwynn was SO excited to go and pick up Connor. We talked the whole way home about his day. He had a really great time.

It’s so hard to not get to share these moments with Dustin too; our first kiddo going off to Kindergarten. He will most likely be gone for the entire first year of school. We are trying to get R&R towards the end of the deployment because it’s just easier for us that way. One thing that is super hard is Dustin having to miss all the firsts! He missed Connor’s first birthday, Gwynn’s first birthday, Connor’s first year of sports, Gwynn’s first year of sports (starting Thursday she’ll be in soccer!!) and of course, Connor’s first year of school.

The last two days have been so hard on Gwynn. She really misses Connor. She has been so mean to him when he comes home. I think it’s her way of punishing him for leaving her. He has been really grumpy too…so tired!! He gets easily overwhelmed and so I think he really needs a break when he gets home and an earlier bed time?!? He enjoys the bus, but he said the kiddos are always screaming and it hurts his sensitive ears…so he’s had a few headaches. He told me he cried at school on Tuesday because he missed me :0( It’s so hard to let him go like this. 8 hours is a long time to be away from my little sweetie.

Grandpa Russ called Connor on his first morning of school. He was pretty excited about that. Grandma Lisa called to see how his first day of school went. He told her, “Okay, well I better get back to my homework now. I was doing it when you called.” Tuesday night, he said homework was boring…and it is for him…it is stuff he’s been doing for a few years now. Grandpa Russ and Grandma Glenda called to see how his second day of school went. He really enjoys it!

The Pest Professionals came and sprayed everything down. He told me that the spider I had was a BABY widow!! WHAT??? He said they are usually bigger than that! GROSS!!!! He also informed me that he found some mouse droppings in my utility closet (water heater, furnace…) so he put down some glue traps and told me if I heard squealing, I got him. That was just too gross to me and I can’t imagine having to take care of that! I went and got some traps that will kill and conceal! Hopefully… This is the stuff that I just hate to have to deal with! I will do it because I have to, but I am not going to do it joyfully!!

I haven’t heard from Dustin in a while. We got an email saying there was a commo blackout. My heart sank! That usually means there as a causality. She told us that if there was, it wasn’t from our unit, but probably in that general area…it still makes it hard. I can’t wait to talk to him again!! We had been talking every day, at least once. It could get overwhelming at times because I felt like I was sitting at the computer all day…but now that I don’t have it, I REALLY miss it. I’ll just have to keep myself busy until I hear from him again, which shouldn’t be a problem at all :0)

Everything around me is changing…it is good to remember this passage…God never changes!

Bible Verse: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

Silver Linings :
♥Watching my little bug grow up
♥Terminix
♥special calls from Grandparents

Days 15-26

Have you ever noticed that once you say you’re going to do something…say try to enjoy every moment and appreciate it all…it gets really, REALLY hard? The day after I decided to do that was a test for sure. I have had many opportunities in the last 10 days to do so.

♦I am thankful that Connor decided to pee on Gwynn because I found out he has exceptional aim, he didn’t get any on the carpet!

♦I am thankful that Connor was scolded by a lady for standing up and dancing at Sesame Street (because her son was sitting on his behind and couldn’t see) because I learned that he is such a sweet and caring person when he kindly sat on his knees and danced from there without complaining.

♦I am thankful that a bunch of kiddos pushed their way past Connor to hug Elmo because I learned that Connor is gentle and polite and can express himself using unexpected words like “he was feeling doomed” when he didn’t get to hug Elmo.

♦I am thankful that Connor threw a heater that hit Gwynn in the chest because we learned that she is tough and he has a pretty good arm!

♦I am thankful that according to the doc, Connor won’t grow out of his sleepwalking until he’s 10-12 because instead of just walking around crying he has started to sleep walk into bed with me :0)

♦I am thankful that I find Gwynn sleeping on the floor many nights because I know she’ll be able to sleep anywhere.

♦I am thankful that Gwynn loudly told grandma in a restaurant that she pooped because it means she is not shy or embarrassed about bodily functions!

♦I am thankful for the mold on my new patio shades because it means we are getting lots of rain and that is really good for my new lawn and my water bill.

♦I am thankful for the huge storm we got with hail and strong winds that flooded my patio and lawn and knocked out our power and internet because I got to spend some really good quality time with my kiddos.

♦I am thankful that 2 of my mini blinds broke in the same day because I get to buy nicer ones now.

♦I am thankful that Connor’s Leapster died from overuse because it means it was money well spent.

♦I am thankful that all of Connor and Gwynn’s clothes and shoes are getting too small because it means they are healthy and I get to go shopping!

♦I am thankful for all of the unsolicited advice and things people say that hurt my feelings or make me feel like I am doing something wrong because it means I have people in my life…not everyone can say that.

♦I am thankful for those people because it shows me the people in my life who know what I am going through and are really there for me.

♦I am thankful when I feel let down by loved ones (even when it’s enough to make me want to travel great lengths to give them a piece of my mind) because it reminds me that the people you are closest to can hurt/disappoint you the most and I know I have really close people in my life.

♦I am thankful that Dustin’s internet cuts out and that there is a major delay on the phone because it means I get to talk to him.

♦I am thankful that I had to wait 2 ½ hours at CYS to turn in papers because it means my kiddos get free hours at the day care, free sports and free classes.

♦I am thankful for tired cranky kiddos because it means they had fun with Grandpa and Grandma.

♦I am thankful I found out I have to pay for Connor’s lunch in addition to his education because some kids don’t get lunch at all. I am thankful for being exhausted and stressed out because it reminds me of all the support I have.

♦I am thankful that I can’t access a year and a half of pictures on my external hard drive because it gives my brother Jacob a chance to help me out and use his newly acquired skills.

♦I am thankful that my computer broke down because it helped me find my computer discs and appreciate my brother Chris even more for helping me fix it when I was really upset.

♦I am thankful that Gwynn asked me, “Why are you crying like a little baby?” because in that moment it made me laugh and realize I was.

♦I am thankful for all of my struggles because it reminds me that I am growing.

♦I am still trying to find a reason to be thankful for all the big spiders I find in my basement (including the black widow I found today!!)

I was really excited for this year without Dustin (trying to put a silver lining on the huge rain cloud) because I looked forward to the work that God would do in me. I remembered last time that I just grew like crazy when I opened myself to it. I don’t know why I expected to be able to go to church, read some books and do a few Bible Studies and grow that way. Sometimes you have to hit a new bottom before you can grow. You have to be reminded that you NEED Jesus. I have been so busy running around from appointment to appointment, turning in paperwork, waiting…waiting…running late to PWOC, running late to church, running to the store… I am behind on everything…if you can’t tell :0) I am not sleeping well at all. I am exhausted. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Bible Verse of the Week: Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? (Hebrews 12:7)

Silver Linings:

♥All of my in-laws help

♥snuggling with my kiddos

♥see above :0)

Days 13-14

I cant' believe it's already been 2 weeks!! These past few days have been pretty calm…for my kiddos at least :0) They have been playing with each other well. My basement is a HUGE mess…but at least they have been good for me :0) We got a package sent off to Dustin. I was pretty pleased with the 14.5 lbs I got into the Flat Rate box!! I got off the first 12 letters to him too. It feels good to get those out there to him! I also sent him a Hooahmail letter. It’s a new thing for Afg. where I can type a letter to him, they print it off over there and deliver it. It is supposed to be faster…we’ll see!!

Today was a really good day. We actually got to talk over webcam with Dustin. The kiddos were so excited. I haven’t seen them with smiles that big in a while. It was so good to hear his voice and see his face…as close as having him home as we can get for now :0)

Over the past few days I have been contemplating my prayer time. Often I think that I get selfish when I pray. I pray for healing in a friend’s hurting heart. I pray for the gift of a child. I pray for a sibling to find a job. I pray for my kiddos to listen. Instead, I feel I should be praying for God’s will to be done. Not to say that he doesn't give us what we ask, but I feel that my selfish heart doesn’t always want what God wants. I have started praying for God’s will to be done, and for those I am praying for to have Grace and Strength to face what God gives them…and gratitude if he answers our prayers. I think it’s so easy to forget to thank God for the prayers that he does answer.

My amazing sister came over and watched my kiddos again so I could go to my Bible study this morning. We had a guest speaker today, Cynthia Heald. She’s written a study on “Becoming a Woman of Simplicity.” I thoroughly enjoyed her devotional. She said something about how she couldn’t wait for her 3 children (born in 3 years) to be able to cut their own food…and then they started cutting their food 2,000 miles from her. She pointed out that we need to treasure the precious present instead of thinking it will get better when… So that is what I am going to do. I am going to treasure every precious moment of the present…well as best I can. Let’s face it, there are some times when we just can’t appreciate what we’re going through, or can we?

I am going to challenge myself to try and appreciate the precious present. I am going to try and appreciate it when I have to clean my messy house…because I have one to clean. I am going to try and appreciate the garage door I can’t get to work correctly…because I have a car that goes in it. I am going to appreciate my hearty figure…because I have food to eat. I am going to try and appreciate my kiddos even when they are fighting and throwing fits…because as that poem said, they are healthy! I am going to try and appreciate the fact that I miss Dustin…because I have him in my life to miss. I am going to appreciate my struggles…because Christ is using them to grow and strengthen me.

Bible Verse: The Lord richly blesses all who call on him. (Romans 10:12)

Silver Linings:
♥I don’t even feel like I need to find one!

Day 12

:0) I start with a smile because I was woken up by Dustin on the computer. He made it to one of two final destinations. The place he is now actually has barracks with 2 man room, internet and phones! We’re pretty excited about that! The other one, is an abandoned school house with a wall around it so…that one has no amenities. Dustin isn’t sure where he will be spending the majority of his time yet. He was one of the first to go from his unit. The rest of them should be coming soon and then they will get it figured out. Until then, we are enjoying a morning and evening chat! With the Army I have learned to always expect the worst. That way you’re not disappointed when it happens, but you are completely overjoyed when it doesn’t!

Other than Gwynn being covered head to toe in toothpaste right before church and ½ a gallon of tea on my kitchen floor we had a pretty calm day. I am trying to find a good way to keep Dustin up on our shows. When we were in Germany and I didn’t have TV, I learned how to watch them online. There were sites where you could download and watch the shows. I can’t find them anywhere now. I wonder if it is because most networks play the shows on their sites. I had planned on burning him a disc weekly of our shows for the week so he doesn’t get behind. I am not sure what I am going to do now…might have to film it with my camcorder :0) Any ideas??

Today in church our pastor was talking about what is important. Our relationships. Had it been last week, I would have had a few tears fall silently down my cheek. However, today, I smiled. I am grateful for my husband, children and everyone that I have in my life. I was reflecting on the last deployment. I was a mess for so much longer. I was stressed and constantly worrying about the "what ifs." Then again, my faith wasn't nearly as strong in the beginning last time. About 1/3 of the way into the last deployment is when I really started to stand on my rock. Today, my heart is at peace.

Bible Verse: May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in all ways. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)`

Silver Linings
♥talked with Dustin
♥Eliza's company
♥talked to my bro Chris
♥talked to my mom