Week 2: Putting on my Big Girl Panties

This week has been a challenge and I have been pretty darn grumpy. It did start out really well. We got in the car on Saturday and drove. We drove up the Leeward (West) coast as far North as we could go on the road we were on. We ended up on a pretty rough beach. The waves were really busy and the wind was quite fierce. I am sure when my kiddos thought of the beach, they didn’t think of the sand stinging their legs as it whipped past. It was beautiful though. There was a painting class capturing the waves on their canvases. There were a few men fishing. There were even a few brave souls out in the water. We got our feet wet until a huge wave came and Dustin had to lift the kids up…then we just dug around in the sand and I captured a few waves on my digital.

We headed back down the coast line. What I wasn’t prepared for was a little village, if you will, of make-shift houses out of tents, tarps, cars, tires…you name it, it was probably there. It looked like it had been there for quite a while. The island is speckled with the homeless. I guess if I had to be homeless, this wouldn’t be a bad place to be…but it’s still really sad. I was also surprised by the signs calling other Hawaiians sell outs for becoming a state. I know I am in “the states,” but sometimes it really doesn’t feel like it.

We drove around until we found a Military Recreation beach. We knew we weren’t in a very good area of the island so we decided it would be safer, at least until we get our island bearings, to be on a gated beach. It was really beautiful. It’s amazing to me how the terrain changed so much in the few miles that we drove. The waves were much calmer, the sun was out and the wind barely made an appearance. While the kiddos splashed in the waves with Dustin and tried to catch the little fish, I sat on the shore line and just took it all in, letting the waves gently wash over me and then fade back into the ocean. I looked out at the endlessness of the huge ocean and was reminded that God’s love for me is as deep as the ocean. It’s never ending. I lost myself in silent prayer and worship, feeling the waves come and go with the sun basking down on me. It was a beautiful moment, reminding me of God’s love pouring over me and the Son shining down on me. I was quickly brought back to this earth as a big wave rolled in and splashed my face…salty! The salt that clung to my lips reminded me that even though His love is never ending and constantly washing over me, there will be tears and struggles. If only I would have remembered that for the rest of the week!

The first week here was an adventure, but now, it’s just frustrating. I am a very strong type A, and I am feeling so unsettled. I want to get into my routine, but I know as soon as we get a house, all of that will change. The kids are already really getting on each other’s (and to be honest my) nerves. We are all up in each other’s space and business. I am tired of having to leave the room for 30 minutes every time the maid wants to clean because she refuses to do it with us in here. I am frustrated with cooking in the microwave because there aren’t a lot of options and going to the store every day because we don’t have a freezer. I am frustrated that it costs $2.50 a day for the bus because it takes me 20-30 min to drive a mile to Connor’s school. It only takes 20 minutes to walk, but walking 4 miles a day with a toddler in tow and a bum achy knee just isn’t going to happen. I swear if I hear, “but I don’t like to walk” or “I don’t like to sleep” one more time… I am frustrated that it costs me $2.50-$3 for a load of laundry when my washer and dryer are on their way. It’s frustrating to see people that are getting placed in homes and only spending a week in the hotel (I am SO happy for them…just frustrating for me.) It’s frustrating that other “things” aren’t happening because the kids are right next to us and it’s just weird. So, there’s my little gripe session. I just had to get it out. I feel so bad that I have been grumpy this week. I have been snapping at Dustin and the kids and I know it only adds to everything else. They are feeling everything I am, and they don’t need my attitude on top of that! It’s like a crappy Sunday with rotten whipped cream and a moldy cherry on top. Who would that make happy??

We did get offered a place though. I am excited about it. It is in a newer section. It’s a duplex with a garage and a/c. The best part is that it is in the same school district as the hotel so Connor won’t have to change schools! The unfortunate thing is that we can’t move in until after Thanksgiving. I think finding out we got a house, but that we are going to be in this hotel for FIFTY-THREE days was a huge part of my frustration. Today, I put on my big girl panties. I accepted the fact that we are going to be here for a while and went ahead and settled us in a little bit more. I went through everything and reorganized it all. Now that I know we are going to be here for a while (to say the least), I decided we needed to make it more comfortable. I think a lot of my grumpiness was coming from the uncertainty of it all. Now that I have an end date in site, I can prepare myself. Our house still hasn’t sold in Colorado and while that is frustrating, it does give us that many more days to get it sold before we have to pay rent and mortgage. Also, our car is at port! We should have it sometime this next week!! We decided today that even though we really wanted to make this work with one car, we probably need to get a second car…so a car shopping we will go!

Connor is really excited that he gets to stay in his class. He isn’t the new student any more either. They got a new girl and he is trying to make her feel comfortable because he knows what she is going through. It’s really sweet. We got to turn in a paper saying he will officially be going to that school and Dustin got the paperwork from the Doc so Connor can take his Epi Pen to school…so we get to settle in at the school too. Today he came home calling me the Hawaiian name for mother :0)

I got to go to PWOC here this week and it was great!! The ladies were so nice and so welcoming. That’s what I love about PWOC…it’s like a family away from family. You know you will walk in and be welcomed by women who love the Lord. As I was walking in, my flip flop broke! Having been dropped off and not wanting to hop back to the hotel on one foot, with Gwynn, I just took it off. Can I just say…I am not making a very good first impression at this chapel! First appearance, I lost my son and cried. Second appearance, I walk around with one shoe. Oh well, they accepted me tear streaked, dirty footed and all!

Tonight when Dustin got home we got in the car and took off again! We ended up in Pearl City at the southern end of the island. It was really busy and congested, but they have Wal Mart and McD’s!

This week I started up my 40 days of Thankfulness. As I sat and thought of things to be thankful for, I realized how selfish and spoiled I am…refer to the 4th paragraph if you must. Even though it kind of hurt to realize that, I am glad I did. God and I had a good talk in the shower and it helped to get my heart back in the right place. I am really blessed. I have a lot of great things in my life to be thankful for and that’s what I need to focus on…not the crap in the 4th paragraph :0)

Inn at Schofield: Week 1

We have survived a week in the hotel! You might not think that is an accomplishment, but let me tell you what…it IS! The kids did really well on the trip here. Gwynn had a meltdown in the Salt Lake airport over apples vs fries for lunch. In truth, that issue was only a mask for her sheer exhaustion and stubborn refusal to take a nap. However, once we got on the plane, it took a millisecond for her to curl up in her seat and pass out. Connor still refused.

Although tired, we were excited to get the rental car (for our 8 bags!), head to the hotel and start our 30 days of “vacation” and settling in. However, our dreams were quickly dashed when Dustin went to the USO and found out if we did that, we were paying for everything out of pocket. He had to sign in and go right to work. It wasn’t much of a choice... Then we found out we had to take a shuttle to the rental car and I wasn’t up for putting our luggage on a bus, then off, then into a car so Gwynn and I stayed at the airport while the boys went to get the car. Gwynn took it upon herself to dance the hula to keep me entertained :0)

We quickly realized that we didn’t know where we were going once we got on the road…but we figured it out! We weren’t expecting the view that we got either. When you think of Hawai’i, you see the beautiful coast line and beaches. You see the tall hotels overlooking them. You don’t see rundown buildings, roads, and crazy drivers. You don’t see poverty everywhere you look. We were shocked. We did make it to post though only having to narrowly escape once crazy driver hitting us. We found the hotel quite easily and were super excited to find out that instead of the smallest room, we got the largest!!! Thankful that Dustin signed in, because it’s $184 a night (x30 ouch!) We are as settled in as we can be. Things are in drawers and baskets. We have cupboards so our groceries are put away and I don’t have any need for my hanging shelves I brought! We even put up static cling Halloween directions to help it feel a little more homey.

We had planned on registering Connor for school on Friday, but we got here too late, so we crashed! However, we were all wide awake at 3:30! By 5 I couldn’t make any of us stay in bed any longer so we got up realizing we had forgotten to get something for breakfast! So Dustin went and got doughnuts from the convenient store and I unpacked. We were all too tired and cranky to do much on Saturday. Dustin had to take our rental car back, so we just took Saturday to try and recover from 18 hours of traveling. We did go to the store to get some essentials. Gwynn wanted to know why we were still in Hawai’i and Connor asked if we could go to China next :0)

Sunday we went to the chapel. Wow, I wasn’t expecting it to be that big! The kiddos went up for children’s story and then back to their classes and we got to enjoy the rest of the service…and it was nice. Nice to finally hear the Word of God preached in church again! Every church we have been at with our kiddos have had one children’s class. Well there are so many little ones here, they have several! We didn’t know where we were going to get them, but we did eventually find Gwynn. We couldn’t find Connor!! We both walked around several times. We split up and went different ways even. I finally decided that he was lost or we were lost so I asked someone where they would take children that were left in class. That got about 6 people involved in looking for him. I was so tired, I had been awake since 3, I couldn’t help it, and I cried. I knew he was going to be found. I honestly wasn’t worried about that, but I was so tired and after the emotional roller coaster of our house selling and contract falling through and then our trip here, I was just done. Dustin finally found him. He had crossed the street to the PX and was waiting at our rental car. Smart boy!! It’s nice though that we were only here a few days and I already met so many nice and helpful people. Really makes you feel welcomed. I can’t wait to start PWOC next week and get to know those women better!

Monday we got Connor registered for school and he started Tuesday! It was so sweet. He got a lei on his first day so everyone would know he was new, but he was too shy to wear it. The kids were so helpful, telling him where to put his stuff and what to do. We have never lived on post with kids in school. That’s been an adjustment too. Driving Connor to school every morning (because it’s $1.25 each way for the bus) and having it take 20 min to go a mile because you have to stop for soldiers doing PT. Lunch is $2.25. They have really short days too. Connor loves his teacher and the school though. I hope we get housing in this district so that he can stay in this school. Don’t even get me started on the Epi Pen procedure! I am praying Connor doesn’t accidentally eat an egg (which would be almost impossible) and needs it because he can’t have it at school without jumping through a million hoops. I am not sure if Gwynn will be able to go to preK anywhere here, so we might have to do it at home :0)

Our challenges have been getting the kiddos to sleep without bothering each other, sleeping in past 5, having to leave the room every time the maid comes (she takes at least 30 min every time and refuses to clean with us in here,) trying to stay out of each other’s space and cooking dinner in the microwave on a limited selection at the store. It’s funny how quickly you get use to huge selection! This post actually reminds me a lot of Vilseck, just a bit bigger. Also, I have found the difference between this hotel and the hotel in CO interesting. The Inn in Colorado had free laundry, breakfast and we got two rooms! We haven’t had any of those luxuries here. However, this Inn has something very special that the other didn’t…Shakeychia!! Shakeychia and I lived across the street from each other in Germany and were PWOC sisters! I am SO excited to be at the same duty station with her again. She got here 2 weeks before we did so we’ll get to spend the next 3 years together!!

Dustin went to his unit yesterday (which oddly enough is the same unit he was in 6 years ago in WA at Fort Lewis) to find out that he will be in HSB and not in an actual battery. He’s pretty bummed about that and found out that they are about 400% overstaffed there in his rank…so pretty much, we’re still trying to figure out why they moved us here if there isn’t a place for him here. We were hoping this PCS would be good for his career, but as of now, it looks like he’ll be sitting at a desk doing nothing…and that’s never good for gaining rank. Oh well, we have to remember that God has us here for a reason and his plan is so much bigger than ours!

So, a week in and we’re still adjusting to life in a new time zone in a very small space. No we haven’t been to the beach yet. We are actually on the very middle of the island and there isn’t a beach very close. We plan to find one tomorrow though! We were told it might only be a month to get into a house instead of two. That’s good because I don’t do very well when my world is unsettled and it’s feeling very unsettled right now!! However, I don’t really want to rush into a house yet because our stuff isn’t here yet and it wouldn’t really make sense. However, once our stuff gets here, I will be calling housing every day to see if they have a house for us :0)