We’ve hit the 11 month mark but, soldiers are leaping off the wall again!! I found 3 on the floor. These poor last few guys have been real troopers…they’ve been hanging on for a long time! I don’t blame them at all for trying to end their mission! Sometimes I feel that way. If I weren’t glued to the wall, held up with faith, I’d have given up a long time ago and tried to end my mission early too!!
Feeling down lately, I had been desperately looking for a quote that I found last deployment; about the strength of an Army Wife. While digging through all of my old files, quotes, and blogs I stumbled upon a blog I had written with a quote from “Wedding Date.” Paraphrased it said, I believe everyone has the exact life they want. My blog went on to talk about how we choose to be happy or we choose to be sad. It really took me aback. I was right. I have been choosing to be sad. I have had a really rough past few months for two main reasons (people and health) and I let myself slip into a world of self pity and I wasn’t really living my life.
Having issues with some in my life…as you probably noted from previous blogs…I was trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me. Was he trying to teach me to set firm boundaries and distance myself from those who are worldly and set out to hurt others? Perhaps he was trying to teach me to be more forgiving, my accepting, and to have more patience. I had decided that the former was true. After all it was the easier option. It’s much easier to cut people off instead of loving them through a difficult situation. Surely God doesn’t want me to subject myself to those who would purposely and heartlessly hurt me. I really started to wrestle with it. After all, WWJD…right?? And what did he do…he died on the cross so that all may know his love. All those who hated him, all those who spread rumors and lies about him, all of those who wanted to kill him…he DIED for them.
Am I willing to die for those who mistreat me…no…but then again, I am not Jesus. I am working on being Christ-like…but I am nowhere near that selfless. When I am struggling with something, I like to Google the subject matter. In doing so, I was drawn to a few passages…
2 Corinthians 12: 8-9
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Colossians 3:12-15
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Romans 12:19-21
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay, "says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
2 Timothy 2:23-24
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
Ephesians 4:31-32
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
So, I have spent a lot of time praying this week that I would be able to forgive those who hurt me so badly. That I would be able to show them compassion and treat them as Jesus would have. And I am praying that I will have the peace that only Jesus can give me.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I also found some nonBiblical quotes that I thought were fitting…
♥"If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it." Anon.
♥“Anybody who criticizes you is a wimp. So be you. And be you loud, and be you strong, and be you to the maximum.” John Mayer
My health has been a downer too…literally. As I have shared before, I don’t have a lot of energy and I just don’t feel well. It has been all too easy lately to lay around all day. I really had to take a look at myself though and realize that I could be up and out. I don’t feel well and in the back of my head, not knowing what is going on is really getting me down (working on it though…had a contrast MRI last night.) However, that doesn’t mean that I get to sit here and waste my days.
♥Lamentations 3:19-23
"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Every morning I get up, I have the wonderful promise that God’s compassion never fails me. He knows what I am going through. He knows this is a rough time in my life…but if I open my eyes and look around, I will see his compassions for me (like the gift of a sweet friend who sends me uplifting mail.) I will feel his love. The worst thing I can possibly do is sit here and waste that gift. He loves me. He has given me SO many blessings. I need to remember to focus on the blessings and not the pain in my life. I truly believe that if I allow him to, God will use all of my struggles to make me a better person. I can sit here and be hurt and angry, sad and self-pitting…or I can get up and trust that he will give me the strength to get through everything that I have to face. I can grow and become a better person. Isn’t that what being a Christian is all about…trying to become like him? I can’t possibly imagine Jesus sitting around being blue. So, I am choosing not to either. I am going to get up every morning and try to make the best of every day.
♥The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~Author Unknown
♥When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. ~Author Unknown
♥Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~M. Kathleen Casey
♥I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~Jewish Proverb
♥When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
♥The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. ~John Vance Cheney
♥God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them. ~John Aughey
♥Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections…unknown
I know that I will have to remind myself of this many more times. It’s too easy to become self centered instead of being Christ centered. So, having reached this decision to live my life to look at the growth instead of the pain, I put my first foot forward on that path. As my friend wrote to me, “If we look up to the Sonshine, we will not see the shadows.” So hang in their little soldiers, we can do this!! We are almost there!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment