I forgot to mention in my last uber-long blog about the "Rule of Chaos." As soon as your husband leaves, you are doomed to a plethora of unforeseen chaos. The day Dustin headed back, my car started making crazy loud banging sounds, the next day I got a horrible virus on my computer that just shut it down and took my brother 3 hours to get it off (and that's what he does for a living!) and then my water heater and furnace went out! So, the "Rule of Chaos!" Last Saturday, I got my kiddos in the car for Connor's last soccer game and it wouldn't start. My brother jumped me and off we went. Yesterday I decided to take my kiddos out to lunch and my car wouldn't start again! Well this time we were actually home alone. So, I went down to get the truck. After helping Gwynn into the back little seat, which she was SO excited to ride in, and getting Connor in, the truck wouldn't start! Thankfully, my parents had left their car here for the summer, so we took that. Now my parents drive a Lincoln...other than their cat, it's pretty much their baby! Well, I spilled pop on the floor of that!! Chaos!!
I parked their car, threw the trickle charger on my car and claimed my stay-at-home-day! I do have to say, it's pretty nice having my brother here, who can help me out! He jumped the truck, fixed my leaky shower, and put insulated boards in my skylights so that the hot air knows it's not welcome to come in there! :0) We've enjoyed playing in the sprinkler the last few nights...that is until it got too slippery and Gwynn did the splits!
I got a call from my Dr's nurse today. She said all of my test results came back normal. Which is GREAT news...BUT she is concerned because now we don't know what is causing my pain, nausea, and inflammation. I have another ultrasound and a follow up scheduled...so now we just wait and pray the Chaos will soon come to an end.
Verse of the Day: "Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Days 285-313
A lot has happened in the last month, but what else is new? It was so nice to have Dustin home :0) A dream come true. We had all these plans of stuff to work on and didn’t do any of them! We decided to just enjoy the time we had together. We slept in. We watched movies. We played games. We went to soccer games. We laid in front of the fire place. We BBQed. It was really nice. 
We got to watch Connor’s acting debut as Old Mac Donald together. He was SO cute! Connor was sad when he had to go to school. Gwynn would say, “Yuck!” every time we kissed :0)
Dustin surprised me with a night away for my 30th (gasp!!) Birthday. We started off the day with soccer games. Then we went and spent a small fortune at the movie theater. We haven’t done that in years, literally. Then we drove to our get-away. I knew exactly where we were going when I saw where he was driving. Dustin
surprised me with a suite at the Broadmoor. The Broadmoor is a 5 star hotel and let me tell you what…I felt like one of the Beverly Hill Billies! I was so embarrassed when the valet opened the back of our car to get our luggage and Connor’s bat fell out the back!! I am not one of those ladies that likes to be waited on. I felt uncomfortable as the men in suits opened doors for me, carried my duct taped luggage and walked us to our room. I was one of THOSE guests that took pictures of everything! My favorite was the buttons that opened and closed the curtains!
Dustin took me out to dinner at one of their restaurants. It was quite a different experience from Texas Roadhouse (where the kiddos chose to take me out the night before for Mother’s Day and my Birthday...and Gwynn asked me "Why don't you care for me mother?") for sure. Instead of being clapped at and having to listen to an
annoying song, they brought out a piece of flourless chocolate cake that had a pencil shaped piece of rolled chocolate with gold flecks in it and a scoop of vanilla ice-cream (not complementary) with a small lit candle in it…no singing, just pure yum!
When we went back to our room, everything was turned down, robes were laid across the corners of the bed, the curtains were drawn, and a smooth jazz was playing on the radio. The only thing missing was the drawn bath. We enjoyed a quiet evening together. I felt like I was sleeping on a cloud in the king sized bed with a down pillow top and down pillows. The only thing better than sharing my cloud with my hubby, was getting up the next morning and going to pick up our kiddos to celebrate Mother’s Day. I am a blessed woman!
Of course the rest of our time with Dustin went by way too quickly. Connor begged to stay home from school on his last full day with us. We decided to send him though. I knew when the phone rang at 1 who it was…our “sick” son wanting to come home. I didn’t have the heart to make him stay, so daddy went and picked him up. They got matching haircuts and we enjoyed our last afternoon and evening together.
Saying goodbye again is hard. Adjusting again is hard. It was amazing the difference in Gwynn when daddy was home. She was a happy, snuggly little girl. It’s so nice to know that your kids love their daddy as much as you do. Days after he left, my brother Abraham, his wife Megan and their son Alex arrived here. They are in the process of moving up. They stayed with Elizabeth. Days later, my in-loves arrived for a week. They were here for all 10 seconds of Gwynn’s last soccer game (it got rained out), Connor’s soccer game and his Kindergarten graduation. What an experience that was! As I watched Connor walk up the isle to his seat, I started to cry. It’s been a long year. Dustin wasn’t here when he started school. He wasn’t there to watch him graduate. We’ve been through a lot this year, and it’s finally coming to an end! The day after the grands left, Abe and family moved over to my house. Then my parents came down and got to watch Connor’s last soccer game. They are leaving tomorrow. I am not sure how long my brother and gang will be here. It’s been a busy and crazy month!!
The one thing that has complicated this all, is what happened a week after Dustin got home. I got sick. I was in a lot of pain and Dustin and I couldn’t enjoy each other so I decided to go to the dr. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts. I had them when I was in college, but not this badly. He gave me Tylenol 3 and ordered an ultrasound. I was so sick though, nauseous and in so much pain. I actually went back to the dr and he told me I was going to be fine and to just wait for my ultrasound. I apologized to Dustin over and over. What timing! We have 2 weeks together, and this happens! He was so sweet and understanding. He told me that just being with me was enough for him. He had to leave, not knowing what was going on. That was really hard.
I finally got my ultrasoud on Friday, May 20th. The tech said she couldn’t give me any official results, but, “I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about it over the weekend,” she said with a smile. It had already been 2 weeks, what was a few more days? Monday came and went and I didn’t hear anything. Tuesday I got a call from my dr. I couldn’t make it to the phone, but he left a message. My ultra sound showed abnormalities in my cervix (potentially Cervical Cancer) and it also showed that I mostly likely had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease…I needed to get in for a pap ASAP! It’s no wonder the tech didn’t see anything, there weren’t cysts to see!
The news was a crushing blow. Here I thought I had cysts and it turns out to be much worse. I called and got an appointment for the next day. I have to tell you, I have never felt so dirty in my whole life. I got tested for a few different STIs (because they are the common cause of PID and Cervical Cancer). I have only ever been with Dustin. Dustin has only ever been with me. In fact, we were virgins when we got married. (I told you there might be TMI in this blog!!) After having done everything right, it just felt so wrong to be tested for STIs. The dr did tell me that everything looked pretty good, so she wasn’t sure what was going on. She gave me a prescription for 2 antibiotics and a shot of antibiotics before I left. Based on how I am feeling, I am not at all surprised that it is taking 3 antibiotics to take down this infection! I have another appointment on the 14th of June to get my results. Until then, I am just riding it out with my Tylenol 3, prayer and lots of love and support.
I really never expected to find myself in this situation. Not at 30 anyway. I’ve been doing a lot of Googling and have learned that if the abnormalities in my cervix are in fact Cervical Cancer, that it is a very slow growing cancer and if caught early, 100% curable. I just had my annual exam in Sept and was told that I could now go to having it every 2 years! Just imagine if I hadn’t gotten sick with PID, I would have gone another 1.5 years without a pap and who knows what mess I could have been in by then! It took me a few days to get over the shock of the news. However, everything happens for a reason. I know that no matter what happens; I will be okay. There is nothing too big for my God and there is nothing I can’t do with Him on my side.
Casting all my cares upon Him, for He cares for me! (1Peter 5:7) I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
We got to watch Connor’s acting debut as Old Mac Donald together. He was SO cute! Connor was sad when he had to go to school. Gwynn would say, “Yuck!” every time we kissed :0)Dustin surprised me with a night away for my 30th (gasp!!) Birthday. We started off the day with soccer games. Then we went and spent a small fortune at the movie theater. We haven’t done that in years, literally. Then we drove to our get-away. I knew exactly where we were going when I saw where he was driving. Dustin
surprised me with a suite at the Broadmoor. The Broadmoor is a 5 star hotel and let me tell you what…I felt like one of the Beverly Hill Billies! I was so embarrassed when the valet opened the back of our car to get our luggage and Connor’s bat fell out the back!! I am not one of those ladies that likes to be waited on. I felt uncomfortable as the men in suits opened doors for me, carried my duct taped luggage and walked us to our room. I was one of THOSE guests that took pictures of everything! My favorite was the buttons that opened and closed the curtains!Dustin took me out to dinner at one of their restaurants. It was quite a different experience from Texas Roadhouse (where the kiddos chose to take me out the night before for Mother’s Day and my Birthday...and Gwynn asked me "Why don't you care for me mother?") for sure. Instead of being clapped at and having to listen to an
annoying song, they brought out a piece of flourless chocolate cake that had a pencil shaped piece of rolled chocolate with gold flecks in it and a scoop of vanilla ice-cream (not complementary) with a small lit candle in it…no singing, just pure yum! When we went back to our room, everything was turned down, robes were laid across the corners of the bed, the curtains were drawn, and a smooth jazz was playing on the radio. The only thing missing was the drawn bath. We enjoyed a quiet evening together. I felt like I was sleeping on a cloud in the king sized bed with a down pillow top and down pillows. The only thing better than sharing my cloud with my hubby, was getting up the next morning and going to pick up our kiddos to celebrate Mother’s Day. I am a blessed woman!
Of course the rest of our time with Dustin went by way too quickly. Connor begged to stay home from school on his last full day with us. We decided to send him though. I knew when the phone rang at 1 who it was…our “sick” son wanting to come home. I didn’t have the heart to make him stay, so daddy went and picked him up. They got matching haircuts and we enjoyed our last afternoon and evening together.
Saying goodbye again is hard. Adjusting again is hard. It was amazing the difference in Gwynn when daddy was home. She was a happy, snuggly little girl. It’s so nice to know that your kids love their daddy as much as you do. Days after he left, my brother Abraham, his wife Megan and their son Alex arrived here. They are in the process of moving up. They stayed with Elizabeth. Days later, my in-loves arrived for a week. They were here for all 10 seconds of Gwynn’s last soccer game (it got rained out), Connor’s soccer game and his Kindergarten graduation. What an experience that was! As I watched Connor walk up the isle to his seat, I started to cry. It’s been a long year. Dustin wasn’t here when he started school. He wasn’t there to watch him graduate. We’ve been through a lot this year, and it’s finally coming to an end! The day after the grands left, Abe and family moved over to my house. Then my parents came down and got to watch Connor’s last soccer game. They are leaving tomorrow. I am not sure how long my brother and gang will be here. It’s been a busy and crazy month!!
The one thing that has complicated this all, is what happened a week after Dustin got home. I got sick. I was in a lot of pain and Dustin and I couldn’t enjoy each other so I decided to go to the dr. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts. I had them when I was in college, but not this badly. He gave me Tylenol 3 and ordered an ultrasound. I was so sick though, nauseous and in so much pain. I actually went back to the dr and he told me I was going to be fine and to just wait for my ultrasound. I apologized to Dustin over and over. What timing! We have 2 weeks together, and this happens! He was so sweet and understanding. He told me that just being with me was enough for him. He had to leave, not knowing what was going on. That was really hard.
I finally got my ultrasoud on Friday, May 20th. The tech said she couldn’t give me any official results, but, “I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about it over the weekend,” she said with a smile. It had already been 2 weeks, what was a few more days? Monday came and went and I didn’t hear anything. Tuesday I got a call from my dr. I couldn’t make it to the phone, but he left a message. My ultra sound showed abnormalities in my cervix (potentially Cervical Cancer) and it also showed that I mostly likely had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease…I needed to get in for a pap ASAP! It’s no wonder the tech didn’t see anything, there weren’t cysts to see!
The news was a crushing blow. Here I thought I had cysts and it turns out to be much worse. I called and got an appointment for the next day. I have to tell you, I have never felt so dirty in my whole life. I got tested for a few different STIs (because they are the common cause of PID and Cervical Cancer). I have only ever been with Dustin. Dustin has only ever been with me. In fact, we were virgins when we got married. (I told you there might be TMI in this blog!!) After having done everything right, it just felt so wrong to be tested for STIs. The dr did tell me that everything looked pretty good, so she wasn’t sure what was going on. She gave me a prescription for 2 antibiotics and a shot of antibiotics before I left. Based on how I am feeling, I am not at all surprised that it is taking 3 antibiotics to take down this infection! I have another appointment on the 14th of June to get my results. Until then, I am just riding it out with my Tylenol 3, prayer and lots of love and support.
I really never expected to find myself in this situation. Not at 30 anyway. I’ve been doing a lot of Googling and have learned that if the abnormalities in my cervix are in fact Cervical Cancer, that it is a very slow growing cancer and if caught early, 100% curable. I just had my annual exam in Sept and was told that I could now go to having it every 2 years! Just imagine if I hadn’t gotten sick with PID, I would have gone another 1.5 years without a pap and who knows what mess I could have been in by then! It took me a few days to get over the shock of the news. However, everything happens for a reason. I know that no matter what happens; I will be okay. There is nothing too big for my God and there is nothing I can’t do with Him on my side.
Casting all my cares upon Him, for He cares for me! (1Peter 5:7) I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Days 268-284
Well, we only had to go 279 days without each other and R&R is FINALLY here!! The days since my last blog have been long and filled with utter eagerness. When waiting to see my soldier again, the challenge is to not get too excited too soon. Once you blow the top, there’s no holding it back! The excitement just bubbles out and oozes into every part of your day. As you can imagine, this makes the days last F-O-R-E-V-E-R---
Thankfully, my mom and dad decided to come visit during her Spring Break and Easter! I can remember when I was in college, I would always come home during Christmas and Summer break and get really sick…well my mom coming must have triggered that in my body! It knew mommy was there..and I got sick! I got the sickest I’ve been in years…but my mommy was there and ironically enough, all I wanted was my hubby :0) It’s so nice to be taken care of. They took care of everything. They shopped, cooked, cleaned, got up with the kids and my mom even helped me make a skirt to welcome Dustin home in :0)
In the midst of my fever, chills and exhaustion, Dustin told me he thought he was going to be home in days, instead of a week!! As much as I wanted him to be home, I wasn’t ready!! I wanted to be healthy and feeling well again before he got here. As it always goes, I kept missing Dustin when he got on to talk. I had no clue where he was or when he was coming home. I was starting to feel better, but was still feeling crappy and as one can imagine, it was hard to hold back the tears. Where Dustin was, he had to make several small hops
We had snow Easter morning, which was some how fitting…all white and clean in celebration of the purity of our Risen Savior and the clean slate he gave us! My parents left and I went to bed not feeling 100% or knowing when Dustin was going to be here. I’ll admit, I cried myself to sleep after having looked up incoming flights to Colorado Springs and knowing he wasn’t coming that night. Where Dustin was, he had to make several small hops and a few big ones. The hard thing is, those moves can be dangerous. Convoys, flights…it’s not like traveling in the states. So, when I didn’t hear anything, although I wasn’t fearful, it still sits in the back of your mind. They aren’t home until they are home.
I woke to find out that he was coming home Tuesday and his flight was getting in at 6:10pm!! I was elated! Simply knowing there was an end in sight. Knowing that in about 60 hours I would be in my husband’s arms. Bliss. I still wasn’t feeling well. My house was far from clean. I didn’t care! I was ready!!
If I had been well, I wouldn’t have slept at all Monday night. I passed out!! However, my alarm clock (Gwynn) came in at 5:45 and I was wide awake and ready to go!! All morning I sang to my kiddos, “It’s going to be a good day!” They sang along, not knowing the reason! I got ready for the day, sent Connor out the door to school and went to my Bible Study…what a great distraction!!!! I could hardly contain myself as I picked up Gwynn from childcare and drove home. I flew home (while driving the speed limit of course!) and raced to my computer. Sadly, nothing from Dustin. Moments later, he got on (thanks to a very generous man in the Dallas airport ) to tell me he was on an earlier flight!!
My heart skipped a beat! I ran to the bathroom, re-shaved my legs :0) freshened up my makeup, fixed my hair, painted my toenails, my fingernails, got dressed and watched agonizingly as each minute passed!! I was so excited, I was sick to my stomach. I felt like I was going to throw up. The anticipation…you can’t even imagine!! Finally came the time to drop Gwynn off and Aunt Elizabeth’s and head to the air port. I don’t really remember getting there or parking…but I do remember standing there waiting for him to walk down the hallway to me.
They announced the arrival of his flight and I jumped out of the chair I was sitting in and went to greet him. I watched as people filed closer to me, then came the flight crew and I had to choke back tears. Slowly another stream of people began to trickle in. I was literally shaking as I stood there. I saw a soldier coming and my heart began to race, not mine…but then…there he was. Walking down that hallway with an all too familiar smile on his face. I walked toward him, hugged him and couldn’t hold back the tears any more as we shared our first kiss in 9 months and 4 days.
I dropped him off at home and ran to get my kiddos from Elizabeth’s. On the way home, I told them that daddy was really bored at all the airports waiting for flights. I suggested we record our favorite Knock Knock jokes for him to watch while he waited. I sat them down at the table, they told their jokes and then I told mine...please ignore the mess :0)
I am so happy and full of joy to be a whole family again…even if it’s only for 2 weeks. God really blessed me with an amazing husband. Dustin has been getting up with the kids, making breakfast, walking Connor to the bus and just really enjoying time with the kids, cooking and cleaning too! We are of course enjoying time with each other too ;0) It’s amazing the simple things that make me happy. Gwynn’s giggles, Connor’s smiles, playing cards, cooking dinner together, snuggling, watching tv together, having a face to face discussion, two toothbrushes and towels in my bathroom, whiskers in the sink…I’m really cherishing it all.
While my soldier is home, many are not. Today marks the 3rd year anniversary of my cousin, Chad’s ultimate sacrifice. Many also gave. Many won’t come home. Many will come home wounded; mentally, physically, emotionally…we must keep constantly vigil in prayer for all of our troops and their families. I feel so blessed to have my whole soldier in my arms tonight and will relish every moment we have together.
Thankfully, my mom and dad decided to come visit during her Spring Break and Easter! I can remember when I was in college, I would always come home during Christmas and Summer break and get really sick…well my mom coming must have triggered that in my body! It knew mommy was there..and I got sick! I got the sickest I’ve been in years…but my mommy was there and ironically enough, all I wanted was my hubby :0) It’s so nice to be taken care of. They took care of everything. They shopped, cooked, cleaned, got up with the kids and my mom even helped me make a skirt to welcome Dustin home in :0)
In the midst of my fever, chills and exhaustion, Dustin told me he thought he was going to be home in days, instead of a week!! As much as I wanted him to be home, I wasn’t ready!! I wanted to be healthy and feeling well again before he got here. As it always goes, I kept missing Dustin when he got on to talk. I had no clue where he was or when he was coming home. I was starting to feel better, but was still feeling crappy and as one can imagine, it was hard to hold back the tears. Where Dustin was, he had to make several small hops
We had snow Easter morning, which was some how fitting…all white and clean in celebration of the purity of our Risen Savior and the clean slate he gave us! My parents left and I went to bed not feeling 100% or knowing when Dustin was going to be here. I’ll admit, I cried myself to sleep after having looked up incoming flights to Colorado Springs and knowing he wasn’t coming that night. Where Dustin was, he had to make several small hops and a few big ones. The hard thing is, those moves can be dangerous. Convoys, flights…it’s not like traveling in the states. So, when I didn’t hear anything, although I wasn’t fearful, it still sits in the back of your mind. They aren’t home until they are home.
I woke to find out that he was coming home Tuesday and his flight was getting in at 6:10pm!! I was elated! Simply knowing there was an end in sight. Knowing that in about 60 hours I would be in my husband’s arms. Bliss. I still wasn’t feeling well. My house was far from clean. I didn’t care! I was ready!!
If I had been well, I wouldn’t have slept at all Monday night. I passed out!! However, my alarm clock (Gwynn) came in at 5:45 and I was wide awake and ready to go!! All morning I sang to my kiddos, “It’s going to be a good day!” They sang along, not knowing the reason! I got ready for the day, sent Connor out the door to school and went to my Bible Study…what a great distraction!!!! I could hardly contain myself as I picked up Gwynn from childcare and drove home. I flew home (while driving the speed limit of course!) and raced to my computer. Sadly, nothing from Dustin. Moments later, he got on (thanks to a very generous man in the Dallas airport ) to tell me he was on an earlier flight!!
My heart skipped a beat! I ran to the bathroom, re-shaved my legs :0) freshened up my makeup, fixed my hair, painted my toenails, my fingernails, got dressed and watched agonizingly as each minute passed!! I was so excited, I was sick to my stomach. I felt like I was going to throw up. The anticipation…you can’t even imagine!! Finally came the time to drop Gwynn off and Aunt Elizabeth’s and head to the air port. I don’t really remember getting there or parking…but I do remember standing there waiting for him to walk down the hallway to me.
They announced the arrival of his flight and I jumped out of the chair I was sitting in and went to greet him. I watched as people filed closer to me, then came the flight crew and I had to choke back tears. Slowly another stream of people began to trickle in. I was literally shaking as I stood there. I saw a soldier coming and my heart began to race, not mine…but then…there he was. Walking down that hallway with an all too familiar smile on his face. I walked toward him, hugged him and couldn’t hold back the tears any more as we shared our first kiss in 9 months and 4 days.
I dropped him off at home and ran to get my kiddos from Elizabeth’s. On the way home, I told them that daddy was really bored at all the airports waiting for flights. I suggested we record our favorite Knock Knock jokes for him to watch while he waited. I sat them down at the table, they told their jokes and then I told mine...please ignore the mess :0)
I am so happy and full of joy to be a whole family again…even if it’s only for 2 weeks. God really blessed me with an amazing husband. Dustin has been getting up with the kids, making breakfast, walking Connor to the bus and just really enjoying time with the kids, cooking and cleaning too! We are of course enjoying time with each other too ;0) It’s amazing the simple things that make me happy. Gwynn’s giggles, Connor’s smiles, playing cards, cooking dinner together, snuggling, watching tv together, having a face to face discussion, two toothbrushes and towels in my bathroom, whiskers in the sink…I’m really cherishing it all.
While my soldier is home, many are not. Today marks the 3rd year anniversary of my cousin, Chad’s ultimate sacrifice. Many also gave. Many won’t come home. Many will come home wounded; mentally, physically, emotionally…we must keep constantly vigil in prayer for all of our troops and their families. I feel so blessed to have my whole soldier in my arms tonight and will relish every moment we have together.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Days 249-267
39 weeks down…
99 days left…
R&R on the horizon…
As an Army wife you take on so much. Every marriage, every life has its own unique challenges within the organization. No two experiences are alike. There are a few things I think we can all agree on. No matter how long our soldiers are gone, it’s always too long. Even though we are grateful for our free medical, it might be nice to get an appointment sooner than a week or two, have the same doctor at least once, or have a doctor that isn’t well into retirement… Although we’re grateful for all of the “extras” we get in addition to our base pay, it’s still nice to be paid.
Apart from what I, as an Army Wife have already taken on, the above mentioned have recently expedited my transition from pepper to salt (and while I am thankful for the coupons, I’ve heard “Nice n’ Easy” doesn’t cover white!!)
Had a doctor not said, “He’ll grow into them,” I may not have had many sleepless nights coaxing my terrified sleep walker back to bed. I may not have had to lay in my bed wondering if I needed to wake my daughter up in the middle of the night to take her brother to the ER because he had just stopped breathing in his sleep. I may have had way fewer sheets to wash. I may have had a much happier, better rested little boy. Had that silver haired Dr. not said that, I wouldn’t have had to go through a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy recovery without daddy’s help! But, I digress. I did. As thankful as I am that we got to have this procedure done with skilled surgeon and staff and the Children’s Hospital, it wasn’t fun. Poor Gwynn just had to say good-bye to her best friend. She had to say good-bye to Grandpa and Grandma. Now she has to put up with her brother at home for another week, messing up HER routine! Connor was miserable and constantly needed something. You can imagine the power struggle that ensued. We survived! By the grace of God I SURVIVED!
Just in time to be hit by another major blow…the national BUDGET! I have never in my life been the political type. Sure I have my ideals. I have just never felt the passion or need to get involved in politics. I tend to take a back seat. I observe. I research. I speak to those I feel it is pertinent. I guess the gloves come off when I feel that people that I dearly love are in unnecessary danger. Let me go on the record here. I am a Conservative. I am about as Conservative as they come. HOWEVER, what happened last week made me sick to my stomach. What a mess!! Here we are fighting over the budget like immature teenagers playing Chicken. Who will cave first? Who is going to turn first? Not me! I don’t care who gets hurt, I will win!! One might wonder, what on earth can keep the Congress from agreeing on a budget that will pay the people of their country? Apparently all it takes is Planned Parenthood.
I watched the debate for a majority of the day. How disgusting that something like cutting the funding to Planned Parenthood was what threatened 800K+ people being paid! I understand. This is a very important debate. However, there is a time and a place!! I don’t believe that God would have been proud about a “win” that occurred in such a low, sneaky, and underhanded way. If you ask me, if you REALLY cared about your people, you would pay them and take up this “fight” at a more appropriate time.
I recognize the Conservatives felt like they had the upper hand!! What a great time to strike! No one wants to shut down the government, so let’s add these few “riders” to the budget and cut funding to Planned Parenthood…it’s the only way to Get ‘Er Done! Come on. We’re better than that. To claim that Planned Parenthood is, to sum it all up, immoral, yet behave so immorally to get its funding cut doesn’t make sense to me. I understand that intentions were good but can’t you see the hypocrisy? I’m not saying I’m right and I wouldn’t dream of saying I know what God is thinking or how he sees this mess, but I just refuse to believe that he would condone such behavior. If your will is GOD’s will…he will make sure you are victorious! Look at battles in the Bible. Did God say, “Okay, you’ve got them by the balls…let’s go!” No…he took the most unlikely Heroes in the worst of circumstances and made them victorious!! I guess what I am saying is, there is a time and a place for everything and I felt like what happened wasn’t a win for anyone, but Satan. With all ears on them, people said some pretty ridiculous and unfounded things that only made them sound foolish. With all eyes on them, they fought dirty and looked weak. The sides were pushed even further apart. Nothing was accomplished and we get to go through this whole mess again tomorrow. Satan won.
My husband, Dustin is gone. We haven’t seen each other in 39 weeks. We will have surpassed the 9 month mark by the time he gets to come home for R&R. This is getting long. I am tired. I am greatly anticipating our time together. God could not have picked a better man to be my husband. I know that as soon as we’re in each other’s arms, our graying cord of 3 will overcome all the painful, stressful messes each double strand has been through. Two strands, even with God as the other, simply aren’t as strong as three. I can’t even begin to imagine going through all of this as a single strand!!
Matthew 6:10 "THY will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven."
Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
99 days left…
R&R on the horizon…
As an Army wife you take on so much. Every marriage, every life has its own unique challenges within the organization. No two experiences are alike. There are a few things I think we can all agree on. No matter how long our soldiers are gone, it’s always too long. Even though we are grateful for our free medical, it might be nice to get an appointment sooner than a week or two, have the same doctor at least once, or have a doctor that isn’t well into retirement… Although we’re grateful for all of the “extras” we get in addition to our base pay, it’s still nice to be paid.
Apart from what I, as an Army Wife have already taken on, the above mentioned have recently expedited my transition from pepper to salt (and while I am thankful for the coupons, I’ve heard “Nice n’ Easy” doesn’t cover white!!)
Had a doctor not said, “He’ll grow into them,” I may not have had many sleepless nights coaxing my terrified sleep walker back to bed. I may not have had to lay in my bed wondering if I needed to wake my daughter up in the middle of the night to take her brother to the ER because he had just stopped breathing in his sleep. I may have had way fewer sheets to wash. I may have had a much happier, better rested little boy. Had that silver haired Dr. not said that, I wouldn’t have had to go through a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy recovery without daddy’s help! But, I digress. I did. As thankful as I am that we got to have this procedure done with skilled surgeon and staff and the Children’s Hospital, it wasn’t fun. Poor Gwynn just had to say good-bye to her best friend. She had to say good-bye to Grandpa and Grandma. Now she has to put up with her brother at home for another week, messing up HER routine! Connor was miserable and constantly needed something. You can imagine the power struggle that ensued. We survived! By the grace of God I SURVIVED!
Just in time to be hit by another major blow…the national BUDGET! I have never in my life been the political type. Sure I have my ideals. I have just never felt the passion or need to get involved in politics. I tend to take a back seat. I observe. I research. I speak to those I feel it is pertinent. I guess the gloves come off when I feel that people that I dearly love are in unnecessary danger. Let me go on the record here. I am a Conservative. I am about as Conservative as they come. HOWEVER, what happened last week made me sick to my stomach. What a mess!! Here we are fighting over the budget like immature teenagers playing Chicken. Who will cave first? Who is going to turn first? Not me! I don’t care who gets hurt, I will win!! One might wonder, what on earth can keep the Congress from agreeing on a budget that will pay the people of their country? Apparently all it takes is Planned Parenthood.
I watched the debate for a majority of the day. How disgusting that something like cutting the funding to Planned Parenthood was what threatened 800K+ people being paid! I understand. This is a very important debate. However, there is a time and a place!! I don’t believe that God would have been proud about a “win” that occurred in such a low, sneaky, and underhanded way. If you ask me, if you REALLY cared about your people, you would pay them and take up this “fight” at a more appropriate time.
I recognize the Conservatives felt like they had the upper hand!! What a great time to strike! No one wants to shut down the government, so let’s add these few “riders” to the budget and cut funding to Planned Parenthood…it’s the only way to Get ‘Er Done! Come on. We’re better than that. To claim that Planned Parenthood is, to sum it all up, immoral, yet behave so immorally to get its funding cut doesn’t make sense to me. I understand that intentions were good but can’t you see the hypocrisy? I’m not saying I’m right and I wouldn’t dream of saying I know what God is thinking or how he sees this mess, but I just refuse to believe that he would condone such behavior. If your will is GOD’s will…he will make sure you are victorious! Look at battles in the Bible. Did God say, “Okay, you’ve got them by the balls…let’s go!” No…he took the most unlikely Heroes in the worst of circumstances and made them victorious!! I guess what I am saying is, there is a time and a place for everything and I felt like what happened wasn’t a win for anyone, but Satan. With all ears on them, people said some pretty ridiculous and unfounded things that only made them sound foolish. With all eyes on them, they fought dirty and looked weak. The sides were pushed even further apart. Nothing was accomplished and we get to go through this whole mess again tomorrow. Satan won.
My husband, Dustin is gone. We haven’t seen each other in 39 weeks. We will have surpassed the 9 month mark by the time he gets to come home for R&R. This is getting long. I am tired. I am greatly anticipating our time together. God could not have picked a better man to be my husband. I know that as soon as we’re in each other’s arms, our graying cord of 3 will overcome all the painful, stressful messes each double strand has been through. Two strands, even with God as the other, simply aren’t as strong as three. I can’t even begin to imagine going through all of this as a single strand!!
Matthew 6:10 "THY will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven."
Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Days 186-248
We’ve had a really busy 2 months…but what else is new?? With quite a few big black ! on my calendar (marking big things I had to get done) in the first half of Feburary, I told Dustin after the last one, I was DONE! I wasn’t taking on any more big projects. I was going to just sit back and enjoy spending time with the kids and doing small stuff at home that I had wanted to get done this year.
My big !s in February (writing and giving a devo, cupcakes for school, plan, set up and put on a Romantic dinner for 70 ladies (which was canceled the night after we spent 3 hours setting it up due to bad weather), plan a program for my ladies group at church, bake Valentine goodies for said program, dr. apt for Connor’s tonsils, and the last one our all day Bell Festival) were starting to come off my calendar one by one…the end was in sight! I was starting to breathe a sigh of relief. THEN…Dustin emailed me 2 days before my last ! to let me know that he had just been told we had pending orders to PCS to Hawaii. At first I was excited! Hawaii!! Then I started to think about it and the reality set in, I got really stressed and actually cried about it. I know most people don’t get that at all, so let me explain.
This Blog Six in the Hoodsays it best but I’ll sum it up for you. The blog opens with this line, “A Chaplain once told me that Military families are in a constant state of grief.” This is the best way to explain my life. While we are really happy, after reading this article, I realized that this statement is so true.
Everyone sees a move to Hawaii as so exciting; a great adventure!!! Here is what I see. How on earth can we be moving already? We were told we were going to be here as long as we wanted. We haven’t even been here 2 years yet!! The second I tell people here that I am moving to Hawaii, even though it is 9 months away, they start to pull away. I stop being as involved or caring as much because I know I won’t be here that much longer. (stage 1: denial and isolation) I get really mad because everyone is so excited about this…but I don’t really want to go. I know it’s going to be a lot of work. Dustin will get home, we’ll have to sell the house and Dustin won’t get to enjoy all the hard work we’ve done on the house. Then a few months after we get there, Dustin will be going to Ft Sill for 2 months. My life just got crazy again and I was just getting to take down that last ! and now I have to do all of this by myself...Dustin is gone!! Connor is in school here, has friends, Gwynn is about ready to start school, I have a great church here, I’m involved in PWOC…this just ruins MY plans!!! Plus everything we have to do, we’ll have to get done in 90 days. That means getting our stuff packed up, getting on a waiting list for housing…so much to do in the last few months when we should be getting to enjoy our reunion. Other people were giving me a hard time about it as if I had anything to do with this choice which made me really mad. I don’t want this!! (stage 2: anger) Then I start thinking, well maybe we could just stay here in the house until Dustin is done with training. Maybe we could just try to stay here. (stage 3: bargaining) Then it hits…I am losing so much. I have to say goodbye to all of my friends, my beautiful mountains, my home that I love, living in the same town as my sister and not having an ocean between our families and us again. My kiddos have to say goodbye to their friends, first schools. I have to let go of all the dreams I had for this house and just living here in general. (stage 4: depression) Finally I realize there is nothing I can do about it. I get hooked up with some ladies already living there to ask questions. I make a “to do” list months long. I start to organize the things we are going to sell, store, and take with us. My trash can starts to fill up with everything I am just getting rid of. I look into what we need to do to sell our house, praying we won’t have to pay back the 8K we got when we bought it. (stage 5: acceptance)
So while everyone else sees an exciting adventure and can’t possibly understand why I am upset or stressed about it…this is what I am going through. I am finally excited about it. I know that God put us in this situation, and he will bring us through it to the other side. I just have to keep my eyes up and focused on him. His plans are not my plans and I know his are better.
Other than that chaotic mess, Gwynn has been taking ballet classes once a week for the last 2 months and Connor took 8 gymnastics lessons. 
We are preparing to put on a Bell concert for our church. Connor, Gwynn, Elizabeth and I will be playing “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” I’m pretty excited about that, but the rest of it, I could care less honestly. I wanted to be done after the festival, but I guess I have to hang in there a few more months. My kitchen faucet stopped working, but I could still use my sprayer which made for a watery mess. My elliptical broke beyond the scope of my or cheap repair. I tried waxing my legs, which I think I will never do again. We had to say good bye to our first pets…both of Connor’s Birthday fish died on the same day. He took it better than I expected. I baked a few pies and a cake for different functions. I went to a baby shower and an FRG meeting and remembered why I don’t hang out with Army people very often :0) We found out that the military might not be getting paid until Congress can get the budget passed…talk about stress!! Then I had a crazy busy day where I left my house at 7:30 and didn’t get home until 6 that night. It involved putting on another program on post, getting Connor from school, driving to Denver for a dr. apt and coming back just in time to make gymnastics and finally home. This has all been in 1 month too and I haven’t even shared the family and friend issues I’ve been helping with!! You add to all of this the regular house work I should be keeping up with, lack of sleep and the lack of “sharing a bed” with Dustin…for EIGHT months…and you can see a recipe for a tired, stressed out lady! I am trying to take it all in stride, but this is getting long. Next month we are getting together with all the other wives (FRG) to make Welcome Home banners and it just feels strange since we haven’t even had R&R yet.
However, we’ve had some excitement the past week!! We finally made it to the end of 3rd quarter and Spring Break! I got to take the kiddos to Disney Princess on Ice. 
It was so much fun. I loved watching their faces light up. Then Grandpa and Grandma (the crazy ones) came for a few days! They entertained the kiddos, fixed my sink, did lots of yard work and watched Gwynn while we were in Denver for Connor’s surgery!
That has been quite the experience too! We left the house at 10 because we had to be there 2 hours early, checked in and waited. We were told the dr. was running an hour ahead of schedule, but then they had a trauma, so we ended up getting into surgery late. I got to hold Connor’s hand while he went to sleep. When I went to let go, his hand was holding mine so tightly I had to pry my hand loose. I almost started crying as I walked away. I’d had enough time to look at two pages of a magazine when they came to get me. They sat me in a private room. At first I was thinking that went quickly, then I started to wonder if something had gone wrong because it happened so fast. Turns out, it was just fast! Connor did great, no bleeding and he was being woken up. When they came to get me, they said he was very calm and did really great. I sat next to him and his eyes were teary. I felt so bad that I didn’t get to be there when he woke up. We moved to recovery and he passed out.
As soon as he woke up he asked, “When do I get to go home?” He was ready!! He slept all the way home and had so much energy when we got home. He was talking and he even ate some ice-cream and rice! The next day was a different story!! Yesterday he was so sick. He was in noticeable pain, sick to his stomach and had a fever. We spent the afternoon cleaning up after him throwing up and he refused to drink anything. I called the dr and he told me it was all within the normal range. It could either be part of the coming out of anesthesia or the medication he is on…but to keep giving it to him and go to the ER if he got worse. Thankfully he woke up better this morning!! He is drinking and even eating very small chunks of grapes. He hasn’t thrown up all day and is actually sitting up for a few hours at a time. He does however, refuse to talk…so he is getting practice at writing me little notes to let me know what he wants :0)
Our lives are crazy busy. I never expected them to be THIS busy. I am happy though that we are 2/3 of the way to taking down that yellow ribbon! In 5-6 weeks we should get R&R for 2 weeks and then about 2 months after that Dustin will be coming home…and then the next chapter of our life will begin :0)
Verse of the Month (maybe even life): "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
My big !s in February (writing and giving a devo, cupcakes for school, plan, set up and put on a Romantic dinner for 70 ladies (which was canceled the night after we spent 3 hours setting it up due to bad weather), plan a program for my ladies group at church, bake Valentine goodies for said program, dr. apt for Connor’s tonsils, and the last one our all day Bell Festival) were starting to come off my calendar one by one…the end was in sight! I was starting to breathe a sigh of relief. THEN…Dustin emailed me 2 days before my last ! to let me know that he had just been told we had pending orders to PCS to Hawaii. At first I was excited! Hawaii!! Then I started to think about it and the reality set in, I got really stressed and actually cried about it. I know most people don’t get that at all, so let me explain.
This Blog Six in the Hoodsays it best but I’ll sum it up for you. The blog opens with this line, “A Chaplain once told me that Military families are in a constant state of grief.” This is the best way to explain my life. While we are really happy, after reading this article, I realized that this statement is so true.
Everyone sees a move to Hawaii as so exciting; a great adventure!!! Here is what I see. How on earth can we be moving already? We were told we were going to be here as long as we wanted. We haven’t even been here 2 years yet!! The second I tell people here that I am moving to Hawaii, even though it is 9 months away, they start to pull away. I stop being as involved or caring as much because I know I won’t be here that much longer. (stage 1: denial and isolation) I get really mad because everyone is so excited about this…but I don’t really want to go. I know it’s going to be a lot of work. Dustin will get home, we’ll have to sell the house and Dustin won’t get to enjoy all the hard work we’ve done on the house. Then a few months after we get there, Dustin will be going to Ft Sill for 2 months. My life just got crazy again and I was just getting to take down that last ! and now I have to do all of this by myself...Dustin is gone!! Connor is in school here, has friends, Gwynn is about ready to start school, I have a great church here, I’m involved in PWOC…this just ruins MY plans!!! Plus everything we have to do, we’ll have to get done in 90 days. That means getting our stuff packed up, getting on a waiting list for housing…so much to do in the last few months when we should be getting to enjoy our reunion. Other people were giving me a hard time about it as if I had anything to do with this choice which made me really mad. I don’t want this!! (stage 2: anger) Then I start thinking, well maybe we could just stay here in the house until Dustin is done with training. Maybe we could just try to stay here. (stage 3: bargaining) Then it hits…I am losing so much. I have to say goodbye to all of my friends, my beautiful mountains, my home that I love, living in the same town as my sister and not having an ocean between our families and us again. My kiddos have to say goodbye to their friends, first schools. I have to let go of all the dreams I had for this house and just living here in general. (stage 4: depression) Finally I realize there is nothing I can do about it. I get hooked up with some ladies already living there to ask questions. I make a “to do” list months long. I start to organize the things we are going to sell, store, and take with us. My trash can starts to fill up with everything I am just getting rid of. I look into what we need to do to sell our house, praying we won’t have to pay back the 8K we got when we bought it. (stage 5: acceptance)
So while everyone else sees an exciting adventure and can’t possibly understand why I am upset or stressed about it…this is what I am going through. I am finally excited about it. I know that God put us in this situation, and he will bring us through it to the other side. I just have to keep my eyes up and focused on him. His plans are not my plans and I know his are better.
Other than that chaotic mess, Gwynn has been taking ballet classes once a week for the last 2 months and Connor took 8 gymnastics lessons. 
We are preparing to put on a Bell concert for our church. Connor, Gwynn, Elizabeth and I will be playing “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” I’m pretty excited about that, but the rest of it, I could care less honestly. I wanted to be done after the festival, but I guess I have to hang in there a few more months. My kitchen faucet stopped working, but I could still use my sprayer which made for a watery mess. My elliptical broke beyond the scope of my or cheap repair. I tried waxing my legs, which I think I will never do again. We had to say good bye to our first pets…both of Connor’s Birthday fish died on the same day. He took it better than I expected. I baked a few pies and a cake for different functions. I went to a baby shower and an FRG meeting and remembered why I don’t hang out with Army people very often :0) We found out that the military might not be getting paid until Congress can get the budget passed…talk about stress!! Then I had a crazy busy day where I left my house at 7:30 and didn’t get home until 6 that night. It involved putting on another program on post, getting Connor from school, driving to Denver for a dr. apt and coming back just in time to make gymnastics and finally home. This has all been in 1 month too and I haven’t even shared the family and friend issues I’ve been helping with!! You add to all of this the regular house work I should be keeping up with, lack of sleep and the lack of “sharing a bed” with Dustin…for EIGHT months…and you can see a recipe for a tired, stressed out lady! I am trying to take it all in stride, but this is getting long. Next month we are getting together with all the other wives (FRG) to make Welcome Home banners and it just feels strange since we haven’t even had R&R yet.
However, we’ve had some excitement the past week!! We finally made it to the end of 3rd quarter and Spring Break! I got to take the kiddos to Disney Princess on Ice. 
It was so much fun. I loved watching their faces light up. Then Grandpa and Grandma (the crazy ones) came for a few days! They entertained the kiddos, fixed my sink, did lots of yard work and watched Gwynn while we were in Denver for Connor’s surgery! That has been quite the experience too! We left the house at 10 because we had to be there 2 hours early, checked in and waited. We were told the dr. was running an hour ahead of schedule, but then they had a trauma, so we ended up getting into surgery late. I got to hold Connor’s hand while he went to sleep. When I went to let go, his hand was holding mine so tightly I had to pry my hand loose. I almost started crying as I walked away. I’d had enough time to look at two pages of a magazine when they came to get me. They sat me in a private room. At first I was thinking that went quickly, then I started to wonder if something had gone wrong because it happened so fast. Turns out, it was just fast! Connor did great, no bleeding and he was being woken up. When they came to get me, they said he was very calm and did really great. I sat next to him and his eyes were teary. I felt so bad that I didn’t get to be there when he woke up. We moved to recovery and he passed out.
As soon as he woke up he asked, “When do I get to go home?” He was ready!! He slept all the way home and had so much energy when we got home. He was talking and he even ate some ice-cream and rice! The next day was a different story!! Yesterday he was so sick. He was in noticeable pain, sick to his stomach and had a fever. We spent the afternoon cleaning up after him throwing up and he refused to drink anything. I called the dr and he told me it was all within the normal range. It could either be part of the coming out of anesthesia or the medication he is on…but to keep giving it to him and go to the ER if he got worse. Thankfully he woke up better this morning!! He is drinking and even eating very small chunks of grapes. He hasn’t thrown up all day and is actually sitting up for a few hours at a time. He does however, refuse to talk…so he is getting practice at writing me little notes to let me know what he wants :0)Our lives are crazy busy. I never expected them to be THIS busy. I am happy though that we are 2/3 of the way to taking down that yellow ribbon! In 5-6 weeks we should get R&R for 2 weeks and then about 2 months after that Dustin will be coming home…and then the next chapter of our life will begin :0)
Verse of the Month (maybe even life): "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Friday, January 21, 2011
Days 171-185
Well, we’re here…1/2 way!! In some ways, I can’t believe we are already here!! This has been taking forever, but we have been keeping SO busy, that it has also flown by. Wednesday was ½ way for weeks and days (I literally watched the clock turn to noon as it marked 182 1/2 days...the official 1/2 way mark!!!), but today, is the 6 month mark…so however you look at it, we’re on the downhill slide!
I’ve had a lot of really big “light bulb” moments (as Gru would say) lately. There have been a lot of things frustrating me. People being ugly. Now, when I say people, I don’t mean anyone that I know, just in general. It really frustrates me when partial stories are told and everyone jumps all over it and makes mountains out of mole hills. It bothers me when people say that soldiers should die and that they are mindless and cannot think for themselves. It frustrates me when people have nothing good to say about Christians…and why should they? Many people I see that call themselves Christians act very little like Christ. These things have really been weighing on me. However, God has allowed me to see that instead of frustration, I need to feel sorry for them and pray for them. They don’t know the peace that I do. They don’t have a fabulous relationship with Christ. In itself, coming to this realization has really brought peace to my heart.
Also, I realized that while my life is a love song to my husband, is it a love song to God? I really realized that everything I do needs to be for him and his glory, not for me. I also realized that while we are sitting here asking God where he was during our bad times, that he is asking us where we were during the good times.
I have a busy February in front of me. I am not going to lie, I am freaking out a little bit about how I am going to get it all done. The biggest concern for me is that I have an all day (8am-10pm) Bell Festival coming up and no one to watch my kiddos. I know God will take care of that, but it’s stressing me out. I know I need to trust him like I did with my ring…oh yes, I have yet to tell that story! For Christmas, my wonderful husband got me Swiss Blue Topaz earings, necklace and ring! Beautiful!! However, the ring was too small. I sent it back to get a bigger size and two weeks later, the package was nowhere to be found! I was devastated!! However, after I turned it over to God and told him I knew it was silly to be this upset over a material object, but I really wanted it back…it was in the mail box the next day :0) God is good, huh?? Anyway, I know he has my back…but sometimes it’s hard to let those worries go.
Tonight the kiddos and I had a celebration, as Connor called it. We pulled party poppers, had pizza, watched a movie and had cake of course because every party needs cake! What a great feeling to be sliding down now instead of climbing up!
Verses of the day:
Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.
I’ve had a lot of really big “light bulb” moments (as Gru would say) lately. There have been a lot of things frustrating me. People being ugly. Now, when I say people, I don’t mean anyone that I know, just in general. It really frustrates me when partial stories are told and everyone jumps all over it and makes mountains out of mole hills. It bothers me when people say that soldiers should die and that they are mindless and cannot think for themselves. It frustrates me when people have nothing good to say about Christians…and why should they? Many people I see that call themselves Christians act very little like Christ. These things have really been weighing on me. However, God has allowed me to see that instead of frustration, I need to feel sorry for them and pray for them. They don’t know the peace that I do. They don’t have a fabulous relationship with Christ. In itself, coming to this realization has really brought peace to my heart.
Also, I realized that while my life is a love song to my husband, is it a love song to God? I really realized that everything I do needs to be for him and his glory, not for me. I also realized that while we are sitting here asking God where he was during our bad times, that he is asking us where we were during the good times.
I have a busy February in front of me. I am not going to lie, I am freaking out a little bit about how I am going to get it all done. The biggest concern for me is that I have an all day (8am-10pm) Bell Festival coming up and no one to watch my kiddos. I know God will take care of that, but it’s stressing me out. I know I need to trust him like I did with my ring…oh yes, I have yet to tell that story! For Christmas, my wonderful husband got me Swiss Blue Topaz earings, necklace and ring! Beautiful!! However, the ring was too small. I sent it back to get a bigger size and two weeks later, the package was nowhere to be found! I was devastated!! However, after I turned it over to God and told him I knew it was silly to be this upset over a material object, but I really wanted it back…it was in the mail box the next day :0) God is good, huh?? Anyway, I know he has my back…but sometimes it’s hard to let those worries go.
Tonight the kiddos and I had a celebration, as Connor called it. We pulled party poppers, had pizza, watched a movie and had cake of course because every party needs cake! What a great feeling to be sliding down now instead of climbing up!
Verses of the day:
Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Days 105-170
I noticed a while back that I hadn’t blogged in a REALLY long time…pathetically long time! I looked back over my calendar to see what happened and realized the answer was “The Season.” The season of sick and Holidaze!!!
On the night of day 105 (beginning of Nov), Connor came into my room SICK! He could barely breathe and was coughing, or should I say barking! Thankfully this had happened once before and so I knew to take him in the steamed up bathroom. That did get his cough under control. I envisioned taking him to the doctor the next day, however he woke up much better!! Sadly, that night he got much worse. Saying I got no sleep isn’t quite right, because my body did shut down a few times. I was afraid to fall asleep because Connor would stop breathing, and then gasp for air. It was the scariest thing in the world. Now, being a “single” mom you have to weigh your options. Do I, get the kids up, dressed and go to the ER or do I lay here trying to stay awake and keep an eye on my child so that they at least get sleep? Well, I am sure you can figure out what I did. After a trip to the doc the next day, Croup and he suggested that I have a sleep study done on him to see why he stopped breathing. However, since neither the doc or I could see in Connor’s throat because he tonsils were so enlarged, the reason was pretty clear.
That was just the beginning of a very hectic few months! Gwynn also contracted Croup. However, I couldn’t get her breathing under control with the steamed up room or anything else. Because she laid there crying, her chest sinking with every breath and her cough getting worse, I ended up taking her to the ER. In addition to her Croup, she had strep! YAY :0)
We had play practice, bell practice, this party, that party, this performance, that performance, school work, home work, sewing projects, dentist with 3 perfect checkups…we even got our family picture done!
Connor got an entire week off for Thanksgiving! It was great because Aunt Suzie, Tyler, Grandpa and Grandma Elser (the crazy ones :0)and even a surprise guest, one of Suzie’s high school friends, came and spent Turkey Day with us! Gwynn got a play house as an early Christmas gift. That was fun to put together and watch her “open” even though there were “No mommies allowed!” Grandpa helped me hang the Christmas lights on the outside of my house and we put up our Christmas trees. This year, because I knew I wasn’t going to really enjoy the holidays, I decided to do something just for myself. I got a white tree and decorated it with PINK and silver balls :0) We even got to celebrate Dustin’s 30th birthday with cake!
The day they left, I went to start my car and NOTHING! I put the trickle charger on and let it run all night. When I went to check on it in the morning, of course it wasn’t fully charged yet. It wasn’t a big deal, I would just take Dustin’s truck to church and then figure it out after that! There was one flaw in that play, a parking break that wouldn’t release!! Thankfully, Dustin got on and told me how to manually release the parking break on his truck. I even took him down there on the laptop and had him walk me through it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work! I did get the car to start so I threw the cables in my car and decided if anything, someone at church could jump me so I could get home :0) I went down one more time to try the parking break, this time bringing gloves with me, and I GOT IT! I had a little victory dance, pulled it around front and then proceeded to take the battery out of my car so I could get it tested after church (and of course, it was FINE!) Anyway, so in a day, I learned to change my own battery and manually release a parking break! Big day for me :0)
Then of course, the one day I am 45 minutes away from him, Connor decides to get sick at school and start throwing up! Thankfully Uncle Sean had the day off and he and Aunt Elizabeth could go pick him up for me. Of course, 2 days later, the kiddos had a bell performance and Connor had a birthday party to go to and the next day was the Christmas play at church. He was feeling better, but Gwynn just had no energy. As I was picking Connor up from the party, she threw up in the car! Both of them kind of got a cold right away and it got worse and worse, and I got it and we are all now just really getting over it.
The Crazy Grandparents and Great-Grandma came for a few days before Christmas. We had a lot of fun with them again, tried some new recipes, opened a few gifts, saw the Lunar Eclipse (well I did :0), and they went to the Zoo and saw Santa! The kiddos colds came with a little bit of conjunctivitis. Connor’s lasted about 2 days, but Gwynn’s just wouldn’t clear up! I decided with Christmas quickly approaching and a new baby coming to our house I needed to take her to the doctor. We were leaving for the hospital at the same time the “Crazies” were leaving and my car wouldn’t start AGAIN! I have decided that they either can never come again, or they can never leave once they are here :0) We pushed the car out, jumped it and we were good to go again. Gwynn was diagnosed (after 45 min of waiting for the dr.) with an eye infection which did clear up with medication.
We went to the Christmas Eve service and Elizabeth and I played bells. One of our players had surgery and couldn’t make it, so I picked up her bells and did the best I could do sight reading and playing foreign hand (2 bells in one hand) It was fun!! Connor fell asleep during the service and Gwynn wouldn’t stop moving around so that she didn’t!
My mom and step-dad, my brother Abraham, his wife Megan and their baby Alex came and spent a week with us at Christmas! It was great, I got a lot of baby snuggle time in :0) We didn’t have a white Christmas, but we did get some snow at the end of the week. We found out some very exciting news about someone in my family, but I can’t share it because they don’t want me too yet…**pout** Oh yeah and I failed to mention that they day MY parents left, my car died too!! So, I took it in and everything is fine…they said I must have a leech somewhere…who knows!
It continues to amaze me how quickly my kiddos grow and change. Connor is now doing 2 digit addition in his head and asking questions about things he is way too young to even know about (divorce, adoption, boys and girls marring each other…) the joys of school, huh?!? Gwynn is starting to write her name and recognizes the letters of the Alphabet. I love to watch her play…she is so imaginative and has such a forgiving heart!
So, now it’s the New Year! 2011. My house is still in desperate need of recovery from the Holidaze. I am slowly working on it though. I have a few unfinished Christmas projects, I didn’t even get out all of my Christmas cards…lol…maybe they will be Valentine projects :0) This is the year Dustin comes home! YAY!!! We are almost half way there! New year, with new beginnings. I never make New Year resolutions because I think that every day we should try to learn new things resolve to be better. I have been waiting for life to slow down, after D left, school started and all of the changes that happened, but I am starting to realize that life just doesn’t slow down…it just changes! I am ready to jump with both feet into whatever this year brings!
Silver Linings
♥Our families who are willing to travel to be with us!
♥The year of the return :0)
Verses of the Day:
Phillipians 3:13-14… forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you
2Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
On the night of day 105 (beginning of Nov), Connor came into my room SICK! He could barely breathe and was coughing, or should I say barking! Thankfully this had happened once before and so I knew to take him in the steamed up bathroom. That did get his cough under control. I envisioned taking him to the doctor the next day, however he woke up much better!! Sadly, that night he got much worse. Saying I got no sleep isn’t quite right, because my body did shut down a few times. I was afraid to fall asleep because Connor would stop breathing, and then gasp for air. It was the scariest thing in the world. Now, being a “single” mom you have to weigh your options. Do I, get the kids up, dressed and go to the ER or do I lay here trying to stay awake and keep an eye on my child so that they at least get sleep? Well, I am sure you can figure out what I did. After a trip to the doc the next day, Croup and he suggested that I have a sleep study done on him to see why he stopped breathing. However, since neither the doc or I could see in Connor’s throat because he tonsils were so enlarged, the reason was pretty clear.
That was just the beginning of a very hectic few months! Gwynn also contracted Croup. However, I couldn’t get her breathing under control with the steamed up room or anything else. Because she laid there crying, her chest sinking with every breath and her cough getting worse, I ended up taking her to the ER. In addition to her Croup, she had strep! YAY :0)
We had play practice, bell practice, this party, that party, this performance, that performance, school work, home work, sewing projects, dentist with 3 perfect checkups…we even got our family picture done!
Connor got an entire week off for Thanksgiving! It was great because Aunt Suzie, Tyler, Grandpa and Grandma Elser (the crazy ones :0)and even a surprise guest, one of Suzie’s high school friends, came and spent Turkey Day with us! Gwynn got a play house as an early Christmas gift. That was fun to put together and watch her “open” even though there were “No mommies allowed!” Grandpa helped me hang the Christmas lights on the outside of my house and we put up our Christmas trees. This year, because I knew I wasn’t going to really enjoy the holidays, I decided to do something just for myself. I got a white tree and decorated it with PINK and silver balls :0) We even got to celebrate Dustin’s 30th birthday with cake!
The day they left, I went to start my car and NOTHING! I put the trickle charger on and let it run all night. When I went to check on it in the morning, of course it wasn’t fully charged yet. It wasn’t a big deal, I would just take Dustin’s truck to church and then figure it out after that! There was one flaw in that play, a parking break that wouldn’t release!! Thankfully, Dustin got on and told me how to manually release the parking break on his truck. I even took him down there on the laptop and had him walk me through it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work! I did get the car to start so I threw the cables in my car and decided if anything, someone at church could jump me so I could get home :0) I went down one more time to try the parking break, this time bringing gloves with me, and I GOT IT! I had a little victory dance, pulled it around front and then proceeded to take the battery out of my car so I could get it tested after church (and of course, it was FINE!) Anyway, so in a day, I learned to change my own battery and manually release a parking break! Big day for me :0)
Then of course, the one day I am 45 minutes away from him, Connor decides to get sick at school and start throwing up! Thankfully Uncle Sean had the day off and he and Aunt Elizabeth could go pick him up for me. Of course, 2 days later, the kiddos had a bell performance and Connor had a birthday party to go to and the next day was the Christmas play at church. He was feeling better, but Gwynn just had no energy. As I was picking Connor up from the party, she threw up in the car! Both of them kind of got a cold right away and it got worse and worse, and I got it and we are all now just really getting over it.
The Crazy Grandparents and Great-Grandma came for a few days before Christmas. We had a lot of fun with them again, tried some new recipes, opened a few gifts, saw the Lunar Eclipse (well I did :0), and they went to the Zoo and saw Santa! The kiddos colds came with a little bit of conjunctivitis. Connor’s lasted about 2 days, but Gwynn’s just wouldn’t clear up! I decided with Christmas quickly approaching and a new baby coming to our house I needed to take her to the doctor. We were leaving for the hospital at the same time the “Crazies” were leaving and my car wouldn’t start AGAIN! I have decided that they either can never come again, or they can never leave once they are here :0) We pushed the car out, jumped it and we were good to go again. Gwynn was diagnosed (after 45 min of waiting for the dr.) with an eye infection which did clear up with medication.
We went to the Christmas Eve service and Elizabeth and I played bells. One of our players had surgery and couldn’t make it, so I picked up her bells and did the best I could do sight reading and playing foreign hand (2 bells in one hand) It was fun!! Connor fell asleep during the service and Gwynn wouldn’t stop moving around so that she didn’t!
My mom and step-dad, my brother Abraham, his wife Megan and their baby Alex came and spent a week with us at Christmas! It was great, I got a lot of baby snuggle time in :0) We didn’t have a white Christmas, but we did get some snow at the end of the week. We found out some very exciting news about someone in my family, but I can’t share it because they don’t want me too yet…**pout** Oh yeah and I failed to mention that they day MY parents left, my car died too!! So, I took it in and everything is fine…they said I must have a leech somewhere…who knows!
It continues to amaze me how quickly my kiddos grow and change. Connor is now doing 2 digit addition in his head and asking questions about things he is way too young to even know about (divorce, adoption, boys and girls marring each other…) the joys of school, huh?!? Gwynn is starting to write her name and recognizes the letters of the Alphabet. I love to watch her play…she is so imaginative and has such a forgiving heart!
So, now it’s the New Year! 2011. My house is still in desperate need of recovery from the Holidaze. I am slowly working on it though. I have a few unfinished Christmas projects, I didn’t even get out all of my Christmas cards…lol…maybe they will be Valentine projects :0) This is the year Dustin comes home! YAY!!! We are almost half way there! New year, with new beginnings. I never make New Year resolutions because I think that every day we should try to learn new things resolve to be better. I have been waiting for life to slow down, after D left, school started and all of the changes that happened, but I am starting to realize that life just doesn’t slow down…it just changes! I am ready to jump with both feet into whatever this year brings!
Silver Linings
♥Our families who are willing to travel to be with us!
♥The year of the return :0)
Verses of the Day:
Phillipians 3:13-14… forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you
2Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
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